Jon Stewart Sayings and Quotes

Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old Jon Stewart quotes, Jon Stewart sayings, and Jon Stewart proverbs, collected over the years from a variety of sources.

I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land. Jon Stewart
Insomnia is my greatest inspiration. Jon Stewart
I want to look back on my career and be proud of the work, and be proud that I tried everything. Jon Stewart
I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land. Jon Stewart
You just have to keep trying to do good work, and hope that it leads to more good work. I want to look back on my career and be proud of the work, and be proud that I tried everything. Yes, I want to look back and know that I was terrible at a variety of things. Jon Stewart
Fatherhood is great because you can ruin someone from scratch. Jon Stewart
Nobody out-rednecks the great state of America. Jon Stewart
The internet is just a world passing notes around a classroom. Jon Stewart
Fatherhood is great because you can ruin someone from scratch. Jon Stewart
Every generation has their challenge. And things change rapidly, and life gets better in an instant. Jon Stewart
Democrats always standing up for what they later realize they should have believed in. Jon Stewart
The best-laid plans of mice and comedians usually wind up on the cutting-room floor. Jon Stewart
You can use your idealism to further your aims, if you realize that nothing is Nirvana, nothing is perfect. Jon Stewart
The danger of oppression is not just being oppressed, it's becoming an oppressor. Jon Stewart
The Internet is just a world passing around notes in a classroom. Jon Stewart
Ah, the first rule of public speaking -- always start with a joke. Jon Stewart
It's harder to eat meat when you know the animal's name...I have found. Jon Stewart
Senior year is supposed to be about being mentally done. Jon Stewart
I want to look back on my career and be proud of the work, and be proud that I tried everything. Jon Stewart
Religion. It's given people hope in a world torn apart by religion. Jon Stewart
The problem with the Tea Party is they're all ignorant hillbillies who drink moonshine and ride around on mules. And they believe in stereotypes too. Jon Stewart
There's always anxiety when you start a new job, you're the one guy who doesn't know where the ketchup is. Jon Stewart
As long as I don't end up hosting a skin care commercial with Cher, I'm happy. Jon Stewart
The unfortunate, yet truly exciting thing about your life, is that there is no core curriculum. The entire place is an elective. So if there's any real advice I can give you it's this. College is something you complete. Life is something you experience. Jon Stewart
The Internet is just a world passing around notes in a classroom. Jon Stewart
The unfortunate, yet truly exciting thing about your life, is that there is no core curriculum. The entire place is an elective. Jon Stewart