Russell Baker Sayings and Quotes

Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old Russell Baker quotes, Russell Baker sayings, and Russell Baker proverbs, collected over the years from a variety of sources.

Don't try to make children grow up to be like you, or they may do it. Russell Baker
New York is the only city in the world where you can get run down on the sidewalk by a pedestrian. Russell Baker
The government cannot afford to have a country made up entirely of rich people, because rich people pay so little tax that the government would quickly go bankrupt. This is why government men always tell us that labor is man's noblest calling. Government needs labor to pay its upkeep. Russell Baker
Ah, summer, what power you have to make us suffer and like it. Russell Baker
When it comes to cars, only two varieties of people are possible - cowards and fools. Russell Baker
The best advice I can give anybody about going out into the world is this: Don't do it. I have been out there. It is a mess. Russell Baker
The only thing I was fit for was to be a writer, and this notion rested solely on my suspicion that I would never be fit for real work, and that writing didn't require any. Russell Baker
It was dramatic to watch my grandmother decapitate a turkey with an ax the day before Thanksgiving. Nowadays the expense of hiring grandmothers for the ax work would probably qualify all turkeys so honored with gourmet status. Russell Baker
New York is the only city in the world where you can get deliberately run down on the sidewalk by a pedestrian. Russell Baker
When compelled to cook, I produce a meal that would make a sword swallower gag. Russell Baker
The young cult of sociology, needing a language, invented one. There are many dead languages, but the sociologists' is the only language that was dead at birth. Russell Baker
Misery no longer loves company. Nowadays it insists on it. Russell Baker
Skinny women don't enjoy being told they're skinny nowadays. They enjoy telling you how they got that way, as though starvation were an achievement. Russell Baker
The people who say ‘you are what you eat’ have always seemed addled to me. In my opinion, you are what you think, and if you don’t think you can eat all the meat in Kansas City and still be nothing but a vegetable. Russell Baker
The French fried potato has become an inescapable horror in almost every public eating place in the country. 'French fries,' say the menus, but they are not French fries any longer. They are a furry-textured substance with the taste of plastic wood. Russell Baker
A railroad station? That was sort of a primitive airport, only you didn't have to take a cab 20 miles out of town to reach it. Russell Baker
When it comes to cars, only two varieties of people are possible - cowards and fools. Russell Baker
Either possibility could account for a growing sense that the good times were behind me, and the serious times ahead. Russell Baker
Good times, though, are not the best times for a reporter. Russell Baker