W.c. Fields Sayings and Quotes

Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old W.c. Fields quotes, W.c. Fields sayings, and W.c. Fields proverbs, collected over the years from a variety of sources.

Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people. W.C. Fields
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it. W.C. Fields
I don't drink anymore, on the other hand I don't drink any less either. W.C. Fields
Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer. W.C. Fields
Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer. W.C. Fields
Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer. W.C. Fields
Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy, I've done it a thousand times. W.C. Fields
All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women. W.C. Fields
I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food. W.C. Fields
Why limit happy to an hour. W.C. Fields
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food. W.C. Fields
It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to. W.C. Fields
If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no point in being a damn fool about it. W.C. Fields
I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake— which I also keep handy. W.C. Fields
After two days in the hospital, I took a turn for the nurse. W.C. Fields
If at first, you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it. W.C. Fields
Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream! W.C. Fields
What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch? W.C. Fields
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. W.C. Fields
A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her. W.C. Fields
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food. W.C. Fields
Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water. W.C. Fields
My main ambition as a gardener is to water my orange trees with gin, then all I have to do is squeeze the juice into a glass. W.C. Fields
There is no such thing as a tough child. If you parboil them first for seven hours, they will always come out tended. W.C. Fields
I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally. W.C. Fields