Bed Sayings and Quotes

Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old bed quotes, bed sayings, and bed proverbs, collected over the years from a variety of sources.

Everything is more glamorous when you do it in bed anyway. Andy Warhol
You've got to get up every morning with determination if you're going to go to bed with satisfaction. George Horace Lorimer
To carry care to bed is to sleep with a pack on your back. Haliburton
Don't take tomorrow to bed with you. Norman Vincent Peale
Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed. George Burns
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight. Phyllis Diller
People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf. Richard Grenier
Early to bed and early to rise probably indicates unskilled labor. John Ciardi
Getting out of bed in the morning is an act of false confidence. Jules Feiffer
A man would prefer to come home to an unmade bed and a happy woman than to a neatly made bed and an angry woman. Marlene Dietrich
No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed. Erma Bombeck
The best thing about lying in bed late is that you learn to distinguish between first things and trivia, for whatever presses on you has to prove its importance before it makes you move. Max Lerner
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. Groucho Marx
Never go to bed with someone whose problems are greater than yours. Studs Terkel
Only a fool would make the bed every day. Nancy Spain
Those who hate to go to bed fear death; those who hate to get up fear life. W. H. Auden
The bed is a metaphysical piece of furniture. Nelson Rodrigues
And bed, he thought. Bed is my friend. Just bed, he thought. Bed will be a great thing. It is easy when you are beaten, he thought. I never knew how easy it was. And what beat you, the thought. Ernest Hemingway
O bed! O bed! delicious bed! That heaven upon earth to the weary head. Thomas Hood
The bed is a bundle of paradoxes: we go to it with reluctance, yet we quit it with regret; we make up our minds every night to leave it early, but we make up our bodies every morning to keep it late. Ogden Nash
Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise. Benjamin Franklin
Bed is the best place for reading, thinking, or doing nothing. Doris Lessing
On the soft bed of luxury many kingdoms have expired. Andrew Young
The bed is just gorgeous. It's bright and colorful. It looks like a whole bunch of mattresses piled up. But it's an optical illusion. It's really just fabric, stuffing, nails and a staple gun. It's so tall, you need a ladder to get in. Walker Quotes
A bed is where a sense of shared purpose first takes root. Rick Moody
The happiest part of a man's life is what he passes lying awake in bed in the morning. Samuel Johnson
The bed is now as public as the dinner table and governed by the same rules of formal confrontation. Angela Carter
The bed comprehends our whole life, for we were born in it, we live in it, and we shall die in it Guy De Maupassant
In bed we laugh, in bed we cry, and born in bed, in bed we die; the near approach a bed may show of human bliss to human woe. Samuel Johnson
Go to bed early and wake up early. The morning hours are good. Jeff Bezos