Beer Sayings and Quotes

Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old beer quotes, beer sayings, and beer proverbs, collected over the years from a variety of sources.

Beer is in the eye of the beer holder. Kinky Friedman
Milk is for babies. When you grow up you have to drink beer. Arnold Schwarzenegger
He was a wise man who invented beer. Plato
For a quart of Ale is a meal for a King. William Shakespeare
You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline - it helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer. Frank Zappa
Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza. Dave Barry
Beer, if drunk in moderation, softens the temper, cheers the spirit and promotes health. Thomas Jefferson
In a study, scientists report that drinking beer can be good for the liver. I'm sorry, did I say scientists' I meant Irish people. Tina Fey
Most people hate the taste of beer to begin with. It is, however, a prejudice. Winston Churchill
Beer may not solve your problems, but neither will water or milk. Wiley
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. Benjamin Franklin
Beer is a wholesome liquor abounds with nourishment. Dr. Benjamin Rush
Pretty women make us BUY beer. Ugly women make us DRINK beer. Al Bundy
24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? Stephen Wright
They who drink beer will think beer. Washington Irving
Fermentation may have been a greater discovery than fire. David Rains Wallace
The mouth of a perfectly happy man is filled with beer. Ancient Egyptian Saying
A little bit of beer is divine medicine. Paracelsus
Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world. Kaiser Welhelm
Beer will always have a definite role in the diet of an individual and can be considered a cog in the wheel of nutritional foods. Bruce Carlton
Brewers enjoy working to make beer as much as drinking beer instead of working. Harold Rudolph
People who drink light 'beer' don't like the taste of beer; they just like to pee a lot. Capital Brewery
If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose. Jack Handy
A bar is better than a newspaper for public discussion. Jim Parker
For a quart of ale is a dish for a king. William Shakespeare
Religions change; beer and wine remain. Hervey Allen
Beer makes you feel the way you ought to feel without beer. Henry Lawson
Give a man a beer, he'll drink for the day.Teach a man to brew, he'll be drunk the rest of his life. Author Unknown
Why is American beer served cold? So you can tell it from urine. David Moulton
There is more to life than beer alone, but beer makes those other things even better. Stephen Morris
Most Americans are born drunk, and really require a little wine or beer to sober them. G.K. Chesterton
What two ideas are more inseparable than beer and Britannia? Sydney Smith
Give a man a beer and he'll waste an hour. Teach a man to brew and he will waste a lifetime! Charlie Papazian
Life, alas, / Is very drear. / Up with the glass! / Down with the beer Louis Untermeyer
I will make it felony to drink small beer. William Shakespeare (Henry IV)
I will make it felony to drink small beer. William Shakespeare (Henry IV)
Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. Dave Barry
Men are simple things. They can survive a whole weekend with only three things: beer, boxer shorts and batteries for the remote control. Diana Jordan
Heineken refreshes the parts other beers cannot reach. Terry Lovelock
Prohibition makes you want to cry into your beer and denies you the beer to cry into. Don Marquis
I’m only a beer teetotaller, not a champagne teetotaller. George Bernard Shaw
Oh, I was down by Manly Pier / Drinking tubes of ice-cold beer / With a bucket full of prawns upon me knee. / But when I’d swallowed the last prawn / I had a technicolour yawn / And I chundered in the old Pacific sea. Barry Humphries
Life isn’t all beer and skittles; but beer and skittles, or something better of the same sort, must form a good part of every Englishman’s education. Thomas Hughes
Dost thou think because thou art virtuous, there shall be no more cakes and ale? William Shakespeare (Twelfth Night)
When you invite the whole world to your party, inevitably someone pees in the beer. Xeni Jardin
To suckle fools and chronicle small beer. William Shakespeare (Othello)
'Did you ever taste beer?' 'I had a sip of it once,' said the small servant. 'Here's a state of things!' cried Mr. Swiveller—'.She never tasted it — it can’t be tasted in a sip!' Charles Dickens
Paintings are like a beer. Only beer tastes good, and it's hard to stop drinking beer. Billy Carter
Bread is the staff of life, but beer is life itself. English Proverb
Better weak beer than an empty cask. Danish Proverb
Beware, froth is not beer. Danish Proverb
Cider on beer, never fear; beer upon cider, makes a bad rider. English Proverb
Froth is no beer. Dutch Proverb
He that drinks beer, thinks beer. Danish Proverb
I am a firm believer in the people. If given the truth, they can be depended upon to meet any national crisis. The great point is to bring them the real facts, and beer. Abraham Lincoln
After water and tea, beer is the third most popular drink in the world. This should not he surprising, as beer is also the most complex and varied of drinks. It can taste like lemons or smoke, coffee or coconuts, bananas or bread, chilies or ginger. Beer can be crisply acidic and earthy, or it can be bracingly bitter and spectacularly aromatic. It can evince a mere prickle of carbonation or flourish on the palate into a fine mousse. It can be enjoyed days after it was brewed or emerge from a bottle more than a century later and produce rapturous delight. Garrett Oliver
Many of life’s great moments happen at the table, whether these be the tables in our homes, in our restaurants, or in our pubs. The world of beer, this great culture, is worthy of far more respect than it has ever enjoyed, and it is capable of producing far more joy than most people realize. Garrett Oliver
When the beer came, I dipped a finger in it and wet down each corner of the paper napkin to anchor it, so it would not come up with the mug each time and make me appear ridiculous. Charles Portis
A beer drinker drinks as much with his or her eyes as with their mouth. Charles W. Bamforth
There are only two things on Earth that can make an otherwise intelligent, cultured person grab a microphone and start belting out 'Afternoon Delight' in front of total strangers: a lot of beer, and a Karaoke song list. Duane Swierczynski
Dear Beer, It's become quite clear that life is better when you're not near. Sean Donovan
Beer . . . a high and mighty liquor. Julius Caesar
Bless, O Lord, this creature beer, which thou hast deigned to produce from the fat of grain: that it may be a salutary remedy to the human race, and grant, through the invocation of thy holy name, that whoever shall drink it may gain health in body and peace in soul. Through Christ our Lord. Amen. Roman Rite
A little beer is delicious. A little curiosity makes beer more inspiring. And a little knowledge allows beer to take you places. Cheers! Rich Higgins
If you give a guy a beer, / He'll want popcorn to go with it. Phil Newton and J. Edward
Want beer. Like beer. Beer good. Buffy Summers
Vote for beer! Put men to work. Put money in circulation. Don't cha want people to have somethin' in their pockets besides their hands? Don't cha? Jimmy Potts
Beer! Beer! Beer! What marvelous beer! How gratifyin'. How gratifyin'. Why, look at that beer! Look at that quality of it! Aw, get the feel of it. Get the feel of it! Jimmy Potts
Beer goes very good with beer. Tony Hunter
I have respect for beer. I have respect for beer! John Nash
No beer until you finish your tequila! Turanga Morris
Breakfast beer! Ain't you ever had a beer for breakfast? You take one sip of breakfast beer, the cobwebs go, your voice rises two octaves, and 'Hey, man!' the sun comes up inside you. Joseph 'Jacknife' Megessey
Nothing alcoholic. Oh, a beer, maybe. J.J. Bealer
Pretty women makes us BUY beer. Ugly women makes us DRINK beer. Al Bundy
This movie was shot in 3B - three beers - and it looks good, eh? Bob McKenzie
I like the sound of a beer church. Red Forman
I am a large man, and I have had many beers to make up for that. Sgt. Abraham Ford
Beer before liquor, get drunk quicker. Liquor before beer, you like Pam Grier! Cal
You're talking beer, you're talking his belly. Marcy
If I asked her master he'd give me a cask a day; / But she with the beer at hand, not a gill would arrange! / May she marry a ghost and bear him a kitten and may / The High King of Glory permit her to get the mange. James Stephens
What do you think / The bravest drink / Under the sky?' / 'Strong beer,' said I. Robert Graves
Teach me to live that I may fear / The grave as little as my beer. Robert Graves
Tell us, now, how and when / We may find the bravest men?' / 'A sure test, an easy test: / Those that drink beer are the best, / Brown beer strongly brewed, / English drink and English food.' Robert Graves
Oh, never choose as Gideon chose / By the cold well, but rather those / Who look on beer when it is brown, / Smack their lips and gulp it down. Robert Graves
There’s a prize for every one / Every one, any one, / There’s a prize for every one, / Whoever he may be: / Crags for the mountaineer, / Flags for the Fusilier, / For English poets, beer! / Strong beer for me!” Robert Graves
O Beer! O Hodgson, Guinness, Allsopp, Bass! / Names that should be on every infant's tongue! / Shall days and months and years and centuries pass, / And still your merits be unrecked, unsung? Charles Stuart Calverley
Unfortunately almost all our beer knowledge comes from Budweiser, Miller, and Coors. It's as if all we knew about food we learn from McDonalds. Jim Koch
Ah, beer. So many choices, and it makes so little difference. Bender
I like it ice cold, I take it with a lime, / Canadian, Mexican, Heineken, American, they're all real good friends of mine / I like it in a mug, in a bottle, or a cup, I like it with a shot / It hits the spot / Beer Scooter Collins
It's beer thirty, and I'm thirsty / And I been workin' like a dog all week long / So maybe somethin' cold won't hurt me / 'Cause it's beer thirty, and it's time to party Brian Kelley; Canaan Lee Smith; Corey Crowder; Ernest K. Smith; Tyler Hubbard
It’s cold beer country / 110 in the shade / Iced tea won’t cut it / And neither will lemonade / I need a cold Budweiser on a bar stool / And a jukebox by my dear / Singing cold beer country / 'Cause it’s cold beer country round here Bobby Olen Pinson; Marc David Fortney; Toby Keith Covel
How I love a glass of beer (More beer) / Beer goes very good with beer (More beer) / When I'm drinking beer I'm thinking, ach life is beer / But there's someone I love even more than beer Arthur Schwartz; Howard Dietz
Beer one tastes just like a beer / Beer two, a little bit better than one / Beer three, beer four / Yeah, that was pretty damn good so hand me one more / Beer five and I'm comin' alive / Beer six, man that went down quick / Seven, eight, nine, I'm feelin' fine / And by number ten life's good again, hey / Yeah, that's the power of positive drinkin' Mark Irwin; Chris Janson; Chris Dubois
Liquor before beer, in the clear. Wine before whiskey before beer before whiskey before rum before beer, I'm an idiot. Jen Lewis
Our local beer maker went out of business - there had been trouble brewing for a while. Steven W. Skinner
A flight attendant judged me for ordering alcohol at 7:10 AM on a 50-minute flight. Sorry, lady. The first rule of free beer is drink it. James Breakwell