Drinking Sayings and Quotes

Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old drinking quotes, drinking sayings, and drinking proverbs, collected over the years from a variety of sources.

Drinking makes uninteresting people matter less and late at night, matter not at all. Lillian Hellman
If drinking is interfering with your work, you're probably a heavy drinker. If work is interfering with your drinking, you're probably an alcoholic. unknown
What's drinking? A mere pause from thinking! George Gordon
Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with, that it's compounding a felony. Robert Benchley
I feel bad for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. Frank Sinatra
When you stop drinking, you have to deal with this marvelous personality that started you drinking in the first place. Jimmy Breslin
Drinking makes the mind go sober. Heruba
It's like gambling somehow. You go out for a night of drinking and you don't know where you're going to end up the next day. It could work out good or it could be disastrous. It's like the throw of the dice. Jim Morrison
I drink to make other people interesting. George Jean Nathan
Drinking is a way of ending the day. Ernest Hemingway
It's solitary drinking that makes drunkards. Nathanael West
I've never understood people who just go out for one drink. Once I have one drink, I want all the drinks. Vicki Lesage
Drinking coffee is like drinking an inverse yawn. I prefer mine with two spoonfuls of ?I?m listening.? Jarod Kintz
Drinking intensifies all your pressures and your needs. Desi Arnaz
You can't drink all day if you don't start in the morning. Celia Rivenbark
There cannot be good living where there is no good drinking. Benjamin Franklin
The water was not fit to drink. To make it palatable, we had to add whisky. By diligent effort, I learned to like it. Winston Churchill
The point of drinking in moderation is that sometimes you don't drink in moderation. Artie Lange
It's not the drinking to be blamed, but the excess. John Selden
Drinking habits were very prevalent among men, and were not in any way disgraceful, unless excessive. Catherine Helen Spence
I envy people who drink. At least they have something to blame everything on. Oscar Levant
Drinking is an emotional thing. It joggles you out of the standardism of everyday life, out of everything being the same. It yanks you out of your body and your mind and throws you against the wall. I have the feeling that drinking is a form of suicide where you're allowed to return to life and begin all over the next day. Charles Bukowski
In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. Benjamin Franklin
After the first glass, you see things as you wish they were. After the second, you see things as they are not. Finally, you see things as they really are, and that is the most horrible thing in the world. Oscar Wilde
For art to exist, for any sort of aesthetic activity or perception to exist, a certain physiological precondition is indispensable: intoxication. Friedrich Nietzsche
Responsible Drinking? Now that's an Oxymoron. Aaron Howard
Drink moderately, for drunkenness neither keeps a secret, nor observes a promise. Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra
I must entreat you to be scrupulous in the use of strong liquors. One night's drunkenness may defeat the labours of forty days well employed. Johnson
One of the disadvantages of wine is that it makes a man mistake words for thoughts. Samuel Johnson
A drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts. Steve Fergosi
First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you. F. Scott Fitzgerald
What's drinking? A mere pause from thinking! Lord Byron
A bottle of wine contains more philosophy than all the books in the world. Louis Pasteur
The problem with some people is that when they aren't drunk, they're sober. William Butler Yeats
Is the glass half full or half empty? It depends on whether you're pouring or drinking. Bill Cosby
They speak of my drinking, but never think of my thirst. Scottish Proverb
The chief reason for drinking is the desire to behave in a certain way, and to be able to blame it on alcohol. Mignon McLaughlin
I drink to make other people more interesting. Ernest Hemingway
It is well to remember that there are five reasons for drinking: the arrival of a friend, one's present or future thirst, the excellence of the wine, or any other reason. Latin Proverb
Drink the first. Sip the second slowly. Skip the third. Knute Rockne
Drink today, and drown all sorrow; You shall perhaps not do it tomorrow; Best, while you have it, use your breath; There is no drinking after death. Ben Jonson
Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut. Ernest Hemingway
The hard part about being a bartender is figuring out who is drunk and who is just stupid. Richard Braunstein
I know I should give up drinking; but I am not a quitter. unknown
Drunkenness is nothing but voluntary madness. Seneca
Drink washes off the daub and discovers the man. Thomas Fuller
Pouring out liquor is like burning books. William Faulkner
I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink. Joe E Ellis
An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools. Ernest Hemingway
People who drink to drown their sorrow should be told that sorrow knows how to swim. Ann Landers
A man's true character comes out when he's drunk. Charlie Chaplin
Show me how you drink and I will tell you who you are. Emile Peynaud
It's just that I'd rather die of drink than of thirst. Ian Fleming
Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with that it's compounding a felony. Robert Benchley
Beer, if drank with moderation, softens the temper, cheers the spirit, and promotes health. Thomas Jefferson
That is the remarkable thing about drinking: it brings people together so quickly, but between night and morning it sets an interval again of years. Erich Maria Remarque
He that drinks fast, pays slow. Benjamin Franklin
If something bad happens you drink in an attempt to forget; if something good happens you drink in order to celebrate; and if nothing happens you drink to make something happen. Charles Bukowski
When the wine is in, the wit is out. Thomas Becon
I don't drink anymore, on the other hand I don't drink any less either. W.C. Fields
When I drink, I think; and when I think, I drink. Frantois Rabelais
You cant buy HAPPINESS, but you can buy BEER. And that's pretty much the same thing! unknown
BEER doesn't make you fat, It makes you lean… against bars, tables, chairs, walls… unknown
Drink because you are happy, but never because you are miserable. G.K. Chesterton
The worse you are at thinking, the better you are at drinking. Terry Goodkind
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. Henny Youngman
Good people drink good beer. Hunter S. Thompson
There comes a time in every woman's life when the only thing that helps is a glass of champagne. Bette Davis
My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. Rodney Dangerfield
To good eating belongs good drinking. German Proverb
Water is the only drink for a wise man. Henry David Thoreau
I would not put a thief in my mouth to steal my brains. William Shakespeare
Don't drink to get drunk. Drink to enjoy life. Jack Kerouac
Sometimes too much to drink is barely enough. Mark Twain
A lady came up to me one day and said ‘Sir! You are drunk', to which I replied ‘I am drunk today madam, and tomorrow I shall be sober but you will still be ugly. Winston S. Churchill
Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol. Anonymous
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. Benjamin Franklin
When we drink we get drunk. When we get drunk we fall asleep. When we fall asleep we commit no sin. When we commit no sin we go to heaven. So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven! Brian O'Rourke
When you quit drinking, you stop waiting. Caroline Knapp
Time is never wasted when you’re wasted all the time. Catherine Zandonella
Love makes the world go round? Not at all. Whiskey makes it go round twice as fast. Compton Mackenzie
Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. Dave Barry
If God had intended us to drink beer, he would have given us stomachs. David Daye
You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on. Dean Martin
If you drink, don’t drive. Don’t even putt. Dean Martin
Alcohol removes inhibitions, like that scared little mouse who got drunk and shook his whiskers and shouted. Now bring on that damn cat! Eleanor Early
Alcohol is necessary for a man so that he can have a good opinion of himself, undisturbed be the facts. Finley Peter Dunne
Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy. Frank Sinatra
Wine is sunlight, held together by water. Galilei Galileo
Alcohol is the anaesthesia by which we endure the operation of life. George Bernard Shaw
Whisky is liquid sunshine. George Bernard Shaw
It takes only one drink to get me drunk the trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth. George Burns
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. George Carlin
24 hours in a day. 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not. H.L. Mencken
The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind. Humphrey Bogart
Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol. Anonymous
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. Benjamin Franklin
When we drink we get drunk. When we get drunk we fall asleep. When we fall asleep we commit no sin. When we commit no sin we go to heaven. Sooooo, let's all get drunk and go to heaven! Brian O'Rourke
When you quit drinking, you stop waiting. Caroline Knapp
Time is never wasted when you’re wasted all the time. Catherine Zandonella
Love makes the world go round? Not at all. Whiskey makes it go round twice as fast. Compton Mackenzie
Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. Dave Barry
If God had intended us to drink beer, he would have given us stomachs. David Daye
You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on. Dean Martin
If you drink, don’t drive. Don’t even putt. Dean Martin
Alcohol removes inhibitions, like that scared little mouse who got drunk and shook his whiskers and shouted. "Now bring on that damn cat!" Eleanor Early
Alcohol is necessary for a man so that he can have a good opinion of himself, undisturbed be the facts. Finley Peter Dunne
Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy. Frank Sinatra
Wine is sunlight, held together by water. Galilei Galileo
Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life. George Bernard Shaw
Whisky is liquid sunshine. George Bernard Shaw
It takes only one drink to get me drunk the trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth. George Burns
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. George Carlin
24 hours in a day. 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not. H.L. Mencken
The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind. Humphrey Bogart
I'm very serious about no alcohol, no drugs. Life is too beautiful. Jim Carrey
The day I became free of alcohol was the day that I fully understood and embraced the truth that I would not be giving anything up by not drinking. Liz Hemingway
Wine is the most healthful and most hygienic of beverages. Louis Pasteur
Too much of anything is bad, but too much good whiskey is barely enough. Mark Twain
I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it. Rodney Dangerfield
Writer’s block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol. Steve Martin
In a study, scientists report that drinking beer can be good for the liver. I’m sorry, did I say ‘scientists’? I meant Irish people. Tina Fey
I don't have a drinking problem, except when I can't get a drink. Tom Waits
I’m on a whisky diet. I’ve lost three days already. Tommy Cooper
What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch? W.C. Fields
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. W.C. Fields
A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her. W.C. Fields
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food. W.C. Fields
Drinking is fun! It makes me feel horrible and sexy! Warren Ellis
Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. Winston Churchill
I pray you, do not fall in love with me, for I am falser than vows made in wine. William Shakespeare