Drunk Sayings and Quotes

Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old drunk quotes, drunk sayings, and drunk proverbs, collected over the years from a variety of sources.

First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you. Francis Scott Key Fitzgerald
He that is a drunkard is qualified for all vice. Wellins Calcott
Being half drunk is just another way of saying ‘your almost there. Jarrod Conway
Drunkenness is temporary suicide. Bertrand Russell
That which hath made them drunk hath made me bold. William Shakespeare
I may be drunk, but in the morning i‘ll be sober and you‘ll still be ugly. Winston Churchill
They who drink beer will think beer. Washington Irving
I think a man ought to get drunk at least twice a year just on principle, so he won't let himself get snotty about it. Raymond Chandler
The best audience is intelligent, well-educated, and a little drunk Alben William Barkley
You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on. Dean Martin
Drunk forever dreaming you with or without you M.F. Moonzajer
Man, being reasonable, must get drunk; the best of life is but intoxication. Lord Byron
Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer. W.C. Fields
A man who exposes himself when he is intoxicated, has not the art of getting drunk. Samuel Johnson
It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth. George Burns
A drunkard is like a whiskey-bottle, all neck and belly and no head. Austin O'Malley
I liked you better when you were drunk . Tom Hardy
Being sober on a bus is, like, totally different than being drunk on a bus. Ozzy Osbourne
Nothing makes you forget everything as getting drunk of red wine. M.F. Moonzajer
To dispute with a drunkard is to debate with an empty house. Publilius Syrus
No nation is drunken where wine is cheap. Thomas Jefferson
As long as I could pitch a little, no one cared that I was getting drunk. Don Newcombe
Not every man remembers the name of the cow which supplied him with each drop of milk he has drunk. Shmuel Yosef Agnon
Hit the bottom and get back up; or hit the bottle and stay down. Anthony Liccione
He is a drunkard who takes more than three glasses though he be not drunk. Nora Ephron
He that drinks fast, pays slow. Benjamin Franklin
The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind. Humphrey Bogart
Drunkenness is nothing but voluntary madness. Seneca The Younger
I was always playing the hard-bitten drunk. Sally Kellerman
A drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts. Steve Fergosi
If you want to get drunk, get drunk with love. Debasish Mridha
The worst thing about some men is that when they are not drunk they are sober. William Butler Yeats
Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy, I've done it a thousand times. W.C. Fields
Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut. Ernest Hemingway
I love to drink martinis. Two at the very most. Three I'm under the table. Four I'm under my host. Dorothy Parker
It's okay saying sorry, but when you are drunk you say what you really feel. Vidal Sassoon
A man's true character comes out when he's drunk. Charlie Chaplin
An alcoholic has been lightly defined as a man who drinks more than his own doctor. Dr. Alvan L. Barach
Sometimes when you're drunk you can see better. Damien Hirst
If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt. Dean Martin
Because of the high altitude, you get drunk really fast. So everyone's drunk all the time. Clea Duvall
You don't quite know how drunk you are until all of a sudden you're on the floor. Gina Gershon
An American monkey, after getting drunk on brandy, would never touch it again, and thus is much wiser than most men. Charles Darwin
When you drink alcohol you are just borrowing happiness from tomorrow. Jessica Nigri
I drink to forget I drink. Joe E. Lewis
Being sober a long time is a gift, but watching it touch lives around us is even sweeter. Gene O
I know I should give up drinking; but I am not a quitter Anon
I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. Winston Churchill
I feel bad for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. Frank Sinatra
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. Henny Youngman
Alcohol use by young people is dangerous, not only because of the risks associated with acute impairment, but also because of the threat to their long-term development and well-being. Institute of Medicine
Traffic crashes are perhaps the most visible of these dangers, with alcohol being implicated in nearly one-third of youth traffic fatalities. Institute of Medicine
Underage alcohol use is also associated with violence, suicide, educational failure, and other problem behaviors. Institute of Medicine
What every drunk needs is to get more blood into his alcohol. Evan Esar
Drink should be given to stream the man who is given to drink. Evan Esar
The difference between a drunk and an alcoholic is that the drunk doesn't have to attend all those meetings. Arthur Lewis
Among young people. Drinking is for getting drunk. And many go on to become alcoholics. Billy Graham
Drunkenness is not a new vice, Its ravages have always been a scourge on the human race. Billy Graham
Thousands are killed and injured every year by teenagers driving too fast or under the influence of drugs and drink. Billy Graham
Do not seek solace in alcohol. Alcohol obscures good judgement and leaves you unable to think clearly. Billy Graham
It is useless to hold a person to anything he says while he's in love, drunk, or running for office. Shirley MacLaine
What began as an apparently harmless pastime has ended up as a frightening, overpowering addiction or obsession. Billy Graham
Going to the opera, like getting drunk, is a sin that carries its own punishment with it. Hannah More
Children cry and adults drink. Joseph Julius Bonkowski
Sobriety, I'll drink to that. Joseph Julius Bonkowski
When gin turns to sin, you will need bail for jail. Joseph Julius Bonkowski
Friendship in a bar won't go very far. Joseph Julius Bonkowski
Beer in and belly out. Joseph Julius Bonkowski
Drink because you are happy, but never because you are miserable. Gilbert K. Chesterton
Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. Winston Churchill
My rule of life prescribed as an absolutely sacred rite smoking cigars and also the drinking of alcohol before, after and, if need be, during all meals and in the intervals between them. Winston Churchill
The water was not fit toi drink. To make it palatable, we had to add whisky. By diligent effort, I learnt to like it. Winston Churchill
I have a theory that the secret of marital happiness is simple: drink in different pubs to your other half. Jilly Cooper
Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient for beer. Dave Barry
Without a question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza. Dave Barry
I never turned to drink; it seemed to turn to me. Brendan Behan
Alcohol is the most commonly abused drug. Charles Agyin-Asare
Alcoholism is that burning desire like being addicted to nicotine. Charles Agyin-Asare
Alcohol is made very tempting by the powerful advertising and media hype. These are tools used for recruiting novices and sustaining the habits in veterans. Charles Agyin-Asare
Others also use alcohol/drugs to fill the emptiness they feel inside or to get 'high'. Charles Agyin-Asare
Alcohol is what is served at most functions, weddings, birthdays, anniversaries, traditional festivities, sporting events. Charles Agyin-Asare
Alcohol is a simple chemical, but its effects on the body are extraordinarily complex and highly individual. Katherine Ketcham
The stronger a drink is--that is, the more alcohol it contains--the greater the amount of alcohol that will get into your bloodstream. Katherine Ketcham
Alcohol is a legal drug and therefore afforded special status. Katherine Ketcham
Alcohol isn't really a drug, the thinking goes, because it won't hurt you unless you overindulge. Katherine Ketcham
Alcohol can cause or mask emotional problems, such as anxiety or depression. Fred F. Ferri
The younger people are when they start drinking, the more likely they'll have an alcohol problem. Drinking can also increase the risk of using other drugs. Fred F. Ferri
Teens use alcohol because they're curious and want to feel good, lower stress, fit in, and feel older. Some teens have trouble managing impluses, emotions, and thrill-seeking behaviors. Fred F. Ferri
Alcohol is a depressant, meaning it slows down the brain. Teens can feel more relaxed or less anxious, but they may also stagger, lose coordination, slur speech, and be confused and disoriented. Fred F. Ferri
The oldest and most widely used drug in the world, alcohol is also the drug most frequently used by teens. Joseph A. Califano
Alcohol is a liquid that people drink. Adolescents who want to get drunk will often drink 'shots,' which are small glasses of straight liquor, because the body absorbs the alcohol much faster that way. Joseph A. Califano
Signs of teenage drinking include the smell of alcohol on your child's breath, slurred speech, lack of coordination, nausea, vomiting, and hangovers. Joseph A. Califano
Teenage drinking can physically damage the developing brains of teenagers in ways that impair learning, memory, abstract thinking, problem solving, and perceptual-motor skills. Joseph A. Califano
Alcohol can cause many types of accidents. It may also at times lead to violent behavior or contribute to the risk of suicide. Griffith Edwards
Alcohol is also a drug addiction - a fact which multiplies the significance of its inherently negative potential. Griffith Edwards
Alcohol is a stupid molecule which is clever in its ability to play mood music on complex brain systems, but it is an addictive drug with a far from innocent profile. Griffith Edwards
Alcohol is fun, the wine of the Eucharist, a profitable and taxable commodity, but a drug among drugs and highly ambiguous in its costs and benefits. Griffith Edwards
Ever since humans began to consume alcohol, they have had a difficult relationship with it. Rod Phillips
Alcohol has historically played a role at marriages and funerals, and it has commonly marked commercial, political, and other events. Rod Phillips
Alcohol helps people relax and sometimes to forget their cares. Rod Phillips