Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous
old fart quotes, fart sayings, and fart proverbs, collected over the years from a variety
of sources.
At a certain point, you have to face the fact that you've turned into an old fart.Robert Gottlieb
1
Verbal contracts are about as useful as a fart on a treadmill.Robert Rinder
1
A happy fart never comes from a miserable ass.Martin Luther
1
Success is like a fart - only your own smells nice.James P. Hogan
1
If I could light my own farts I could fly to the moon or at least Uranus. Robin Williams
0
Home is where the heart is, home is where the fart is. Come let us fart in the home. There is no art in a fart. Still a fart may not be artless. Let us fart and artless fart in the home.Ernest Hemingway
0
What is like a smelly fart, that, although invisible is obvious? One's own faults, that are precisely as obvious as the effort made to hide them.7th Dalai Lama
0
Pity, I've learned, is like a fart. You can tolerate your own, but you simply can't stand anyone else's.Jonathan Tropper
1
Art is like a fart for the soul. Better out than in. Martin Firrell
0
Farts come from no one and nowhere; they are anonymous emanations that belong to the group as a whole, and even when every person in the room can point to the culprit, the only sane course of action is denial. Paul Auster
0
Most people enjoy the sight of their own handwriting as they enjoy the smell of their own farts. W.H. Auden
0
Any man can fart in a closed room and say that he commands the windScott Lynch
0
Love is the fart of every heart: It pains a man when 'tis kept close, And others doth offend, when 'tis let loose.Sir John Suckling
0
A person who discreetly farts in an elevator is not a divine being, and a man needs to know this.Robert Bly
0
Complaining is mouth farting. And like any farting, I don't mind hearing my own, but I don't want to hear anyone else's.Buster Guru
0
I tell you, we are here on Earth to fart around, and don't let anybody tell you different.Kurt Vonnegut
0
Actions defined a man; words were a fart in the wind.Mario Puzo
0
Having kids means there's always someone around to blame your fart on.Dana Gould
1
I'm a fart in a gale of wind, a humble violet, under a cow pat.Djuna Barnes
0
I always thought that farts were funny, and I always thought that they were mine to talk about because they came out of my body.Jenny Slate
0
Don't be ashamed if you fart while urinating, there is no rain without thunder.Matthew Wineman
1
He that lives upon hope will die farting.Benjamin Franklin
2
A celebrity farts, and everyone endures, but the unpopular will be thrashed to death.Michael Bassey