Funny Animal Sayings and Quotes

Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old funny animal quotes, funny animal sayings, and funny animal proverbs, collected over the years from a variety of sources.

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself. Josh Billings
The heart of animals is the foundation of their life, the sovereign of everything within them, the sun of their microcosm, that upon which all growth depends, from which all power proceeds. William Harvey
The dogs were really keening now, like Irish widows. Thomas Keneally
The household cat is really a tiger that has underwent three counselling programs. Valeriu Butulescu
Properly trained, a man can be dog's best friend. Corey Ford
In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this. Terry Pratchett
The fate of animals is of far greater importance to me than the fear of appearing ridiculous. Emile Zola
Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that is how dogs spend their lives. Sue Murphy
Never stand between a dog and the fire hydrant. John Peer
Always remember, a cat looks down on man, a dog looks up to man, but a pig will look man right in the eye and see his equal. Sir Winston Churchill
Dogs are better than human beings because they know but do not tell. Emily Dickinson
The best thing about animals is that they don't talk much. Thornton Wilder
No matter how much cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens. Abraham Lincoln
There is something about the outside of a horse that is good for the inside of a man. Winston Churchill
Some people talk to animals. Not many listen though. That's the problem. A. A. Milne
Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog. Franklin P. Jones
There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face. Ben Williams
Never break a promise to an animal. They're like babies—they won't understand. Tamora Pierce
If you think dogs can't count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then giving Fido only two of them. Phil Pastoret
We all know interspecies romance is weird. Tim Burton
Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later. Mary Bly
From the dog's point of view, his master is an elongated and abnormally cunning dog. Mabel Louise Robinson
A cat is a puzzle for which there is no solution. Hazel Nicholson
The other day when I was walking through the woods, I saw a rabbit standing in front of a candle making shadows of people on a tree. Steven Alexander Wright
Animals are such agreeable friends -- they ask no questions, they pass no criticisms. George Eliot
God loved the birds and invented trees. Man loved the birds and invented cages. Jacques Deval
The cow is of the bovine ilk: One end is moo, the other, milk. Ogden Nash
I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. Rita Rudner
If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because you lap is warmer. Alfred North Whitehead
Our task must be to free ourselves by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature and its beauty. Albert Einstein
The average dog is a nicer person than the average person. Andy Rooney
A person who has never owned a dog has missed a wonderful part of life. Bob Barker
The love for all living creatures is the most noble attribute of man. Charles Darwin
Dogs and philosophers do the greatest good and get the fewest rewards. Diogenes
No man can fully understand the meaning of love unless he’s owned by a dog. Gene Hill
We can judge the heart of a man by his treatment of animals. Immanuel Kant
A dog has one aim in life, to bestow his heart. J. R. Ackerley
If having a soul means being able to feel love and loyalty and gratitude, then animals are better off than a lot of humans. James Herriot
Money can buy you a fine dog, but only love can make him wag his tail. Kinky Friedman
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and man. Mark Twain
An animal's eyes have the power to speak a great language. Martin Buber
Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole. Roger Caras
If a dog will not come to you after having looked you in the face, you should go home and examine your conscience. Woodrow Wilson