Funny Basketball Sayings and Quotes

Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old funny basketball quotes, funny basketball sayings, and funny basketball proverbs, collected over the years from a variety of sources.

Our offense is like the Pythagorean Theorem. There is no answer. Shaquille O'Neal
There are really only two plays: Romeo and Juliet, and put the darn ball in the basket. Abe Lemmons
The only difference between a good shot and a bad shot is if it goes in or not. Charles Barkley
This is basketball, not figure skating. You don't get extra points for degree of difficulty. Bob Hurley
Basketball is like photography, if you don't focus, all you have is the negative. Dan Frisby
A tough day at the office is even tougher when your office contains spectator seating. Nik Posa
What is so fascinating about sitting around watching a bunch of pituitary cases stuff a ball through a hoop? Woody Allen
Basketball, a game which won't be fit for people until they set the basket umbilicus-high and return the giraffes to the zoo. Ogden Nash
If you meet the Buddha in the lane, feed him the ball. Phil Jackson
Shooting is just like toenails. They may fall off occasionally, but you know they'll always come back. Charles Johnson
I'm not against taking shots, but I am against taking bad shots. Hank Iba
You don't play against opponents, you play against the game of basketball. Bobby Knight
"The invention of basketball was not an accident.It was developed to meet a need. Those boys simply would not play “Drop the Handkerchief. James Naismith
This [basketball] is the second most exciting indoor sport, and the other one shouldn't have spectators. Dick Vertleib
If you make every game a life and death proposition, you're going to have problems. For one thing, you'll be dead a lot. Dean Smith
Basketball is not an equal opportunity game. If you can't shoot it well, you don't get to shoot. Bob Hurley
They say that nobody is perfect. Then they tell you practice makes perfect. I wish they'd make up their minds. Wilt Chamberlain
You can say something to popes, kings and presidents, but you can't talk to officials. In the next war they ought to give everyone a whistle. Abe Lemmons
The secret is to have eight great players and four others who will cheer like crazy. Jerry Tarkanian
Believe that the loose ball that you are chasing has your name wirtten on it. Mike Krzyzewski
We have a great bunch of outside shooters. Unfortunately, all our games are played indoors. Weldon Drew
Not only is there more to life than basketball, there's a lot more to basketball than basketball. Phil Jackson
Basketball is a fast-paced and exiting sport. Siyavush Saidian
Basketball has always enjoyed great popularity. Within a decade. Siyavush Saidian
Men paly basketball in in their underwear, which seems just right to me. Anna Quinden
It was so bad, my travel agent called me with a play - and I wrote it down. Benny Dees
The more Final Fours you go to, the more cousins you find you have who need tickets. Mike Krzyzewski
Whenever you lose, there's going to be criticism. That's why they invented talk radio. Rudy Tomjanovich
Life is an endless series of bounces, some as predictable as the rebound of a basketball, others as unpredictable as the rebound of a football. Evan Esar
Life is bigger than football or basketball but the same rules maintain. John A. Andrews
If I weren't earning $3 million a year to dunk a basketball, most people on the street would run in the other direction if they saw me coming. Charles Barkley
The only way to prove that you're a good sport is to lose. Ernie Banks
Old basketball players never die. They just sit in front of you at the movies. David Young
A champion is someone who gets up when he can't Jack Dempsey
I've failed over and over again in my life. And that's why I succeed. Michael Jordan
You have to have a real love of your sport to carry you through all the bad times. Nancy Greene
At five feet three inches tall, Muggsy Bogues was the shortest player ever to play professional basketball. Throughout his career, he was snickered at, underestimated, and counted out. Ryan Holiday
Possession of the ball is the key to winning in football, basketball and the game of life. J.Laing Burns
I viewed it as a business, but I always viewed it as a game. An opportunity to show my skills, my basketball skills, amongst the best in the world. Laura Lyseight
Possession of the ball is the key to winning in football, basketball and the game of life. J.Laing Burns
I viewed it as a business, but I always viewed it as a game. An opportunity to show my skills, my basketball skills, amongst the best in the world. Laura Lyseight
The NBA was no glamour league at the start. But none of us complained. We were getting paid to play a child's game, and that was good enough. Bob Cousy
There's a spiritual side to basketball. The court is a safe haven, a place where players can seek solitude or find community and lifelong friendships. Jackie MacMullan
You can't play football alone, can't play baseball alone, but you could take a basketball and find a hoop anywhere. Bernard King
When you talk about the American game, basketball is the true American game. Bernard King
Basketball meant family because basketball meant friendships. Charlie Scott
I had a lot of voids in my life, and basketball gave me a sense of satisfaction, a sense of identity. John Thompson
All aspects of the game of basketball are controlled by forces. John J. Fontanella
Without forces, a basketball or a basketball player would always move in a straight line with a constant speed. John J. Fontanella
Basketball is not usually thought of as a game of contact, pushes and pulls by one player on another are part of the game. John J. Fontanella
They predict that a basketball will always bounce to the same height that it is dropped from. John J. Fontanella
When the basketball first contacts the floor, it is said to have potential energy (energy of position/height) and kinetic energy. John J. Fontanella
In basketball and in life, I have always maintained the philosophy of 'next play,' what it means is that whatever you have just done is not as important as what you are doing right now. Mike Krzyzewski
In basketball there is no goalie like there is in soccer, lacrosse, field hokey, water polo, and probably more. Mike Huff
Basketball has no specialists, like a punter in football or a libero in volleyball. Mike Huff
Basketball demands from each player the widest range of skills of any of the team sports. Mike Huff
Not only is there more to life than basketball, there's a lot more to basketball than basketball. Mike Huff
Basketball is a beautiful game when it is played in what I personally believe is the right way, with every player knowing and executing his or her role within the team concept. Mike Huff
The strength of the team is each individual member. The strength of each member is the team. Phil Jackson
Nervous means you want to play. Scared means you don't want to play. Sherman Alexie
They say that nobody is perfect. Then they tell you practice makes perfect. I wish they'd make up their minds. Wilt Chamberlain
Everyone has the fire, but the champions know when to ignite the spark. Amit Ray