Funny Good Morning Sayings and Quotes

Some folks are productive early risers, and thrive getting things done at the crack of dawn. Then there’s the rest of us. Check out the collection of funny good morning quotes below when you can’t keep yourself from repeatedly hitting snooze.

Morning is wonderful. Its only drawback is that it comes at such an inconvenient time of day. Glen Cook
Mornings are pure evil from the pits of hell, which is why I don't do them anymore. Rachel Caine
Morning comes whether you set the alarm or not. Ursula Le Guin
Everyone wants me to be a morning person. I could be one, only if morning began after noon. Tony Smite
Every morning is a battle between the superego and the id, and I am a mere foot soldier with mud and a snooze button on her shield. Catherynne Valente
Every morning I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work. Robert Orben
Every morning brings new potential, but if you dwell on the misfortunes of the day before, you tend to overlook tremendous opportunities. Harvey Mackay
I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly. Winston Churchill
It is a good morning exercise for a research scientist to discard a pet hypothesis every day before breakfast. It keeps him young. Konrad Lorenz
Good morning is a contradiction of terms. Jim Davis
My alarm clock is clearly jealous of my amazing relationship with my bed. Anonymous
Every single day I wake up and make up my mind that I am going to work really hard. Then my mind laughs at me and says 'Good joke.' Then we laugh for some more time and I go back to bed. Gehenna Toss
Do you wish me a good morning, or mean that it is a good morning whether I want it or not; or that you feel good this morning; or that it is a morning to be good on? J.R.R. Tolkien
Good morning, this is God. I will be handling all of your problems today. I will not need your help, so have a miraculous day. Wayne Dyer
Keep the dream alive: Hit the snooze button. Punit Ghadge
Good morning, and a special welcome to those of you who are new to the field of quantum solar energy conversion. Mary Archer
Next week, or next month, or next year, I'll kill myself. But I might as well last out my month's rent which has been paid up, and my credit for breakfast in the morning. Jean Rhys
The average, healthy, well-adjusted adult gets up at seven-thirty in the morning feeling just plain terrible. Jean Kerr
I'm sorry for people who don't drink. They wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. Frank Sinatra
I wake up every morning at nine and grab for the morning paper. Then I look at the obituary page. If my name is not on it, I get up. Benjamin Franklin
I had a monumental idea this morning, but I didn't like it. Sam Goldwyn
Do you wake up in the morning and say to yourself, ' I think I won't think today'? It's too late: you're already thinking! Byron Katie
If you have only one smile in you, give it to the people you love. Don't be surly at home then go out in the street and start grinning 'Good Morning' at total strangers. Maya Angelou
Today's goals: Coffee and kindness. Maybe two coffees and then kindness. Nanea Hoffman
I like freedom. I wake up in the morning and say, 'I don't know, should I have a popsicle or a donut?' You know. Who knows. Oscar Nunez
Never face facts; if you do you'll never get up in the morning. Marlo Thomas
If you get up in the morning and think the future is going to be better, it is a bright day. Otherwise, it is not. Elon Musk
A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and gets to bed at night, and in between he does what he wants to do. Bob Dylan
I hate when I dream of alarm clocks going off. Jarod Kintz
There are two ways of waking up in the morning. One is to say, ‘Good morning, God,’ and the other is to say, ‘Good God, morning!' Fulton J. Sheen
The lawyer’s first thought in the morning is how to handle the case of the ringing alarm clock. Edward Packard Jr
What irritates me most of all about these morning people is their horribly good temper, as if they have been up for three hours and already conquered France. Timur Vermes
I love the early hours of the day. It’s a nice place to visit but I wouldn't want to live there. James Lileks
Some people wake up drowsy. Some people wake up energized. I wake up dead. James Marsden
It sounds plausible enough tonight, but wait until tomorrow. Wait for the common sense of the morning. H.G. Wells
Some mornings I just feel like breaking the damn alarm but then one thing always stops me. I paid hundreds of dollars to buy my phone. Job Might
Good Morning Sunshine; thank you for filtering / stringently through my dingily dilapidate window / embedding optimistic rays of hope in my life. Nikhil Parekh
I live a fast life / Funny thing is she wasn't saying that last night / I can't believe what we did last night / I'm gonna wake up in the morning sun / Roll over, telling everyone / I can't believe what we did last night. Edwin Z. Perez