Funny Hair Sayings and Quotes

Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old funny hair quotes, funny hair sayings, and funny hair proverbs, collected over the years from a variety of sources.

Men's fame is like their hair, which grows after they are dead, and with just as little use to them. George Villiers
I'm a big woman. I need big hair. Aretha Franklin
I'm undaunted in my quest to amuse myself by constantly changing my hair. Hillary Rodham Clinton
I've discovered that how I look is not a function of anything as ephemeral as my hair. Judith Light
Men don't get smarter as they grow older, they just lose their hair. Mary Astor
What a curious way to do your hair— or, rather, not to do it. Marlene Dietrich
I'm losing my hair where I want hair, and getting hair where I don't. Billy Crystal
I'm fine, but you're obviously having a bad hair day. Kristy Samson
I've had hangovers before, but this time even my hair hurts. Rock Hudson
If you want to get ahead in business, you've got to have serious hair. Melanie Griffith
My blackness has never been in my hair. Blackness is not a hairstyle. Bertha Gilkey
You never see a man walking down the street with a woman who has a little potbelly and a bald spot. Elayne Boosler
The tenderest spot in a man's makeup is sometimes the bald spot on top of his head. Helen Rowland
My real hair color is kind of a dark blonde. Now I just have mood hair. Julia Roberts
I'm not offended by all the dumb-blonde jokes because I know that I'm not dumb. I also know I'm not blonde. Dolly Parton
I refuse to think of them as chin hairs. I think of them as stray eyebrows. Janette Barber
Oh, who is that young sinner with the handcuffs on his wrists? / And what has he been after that they groan and shake his fists? / And wherefore is he wearing such a conscience-stricken air? / Oh, they're taking him to prison for the colour of his hair. A.E. Housman
You look like you comb your hair with an eggbeater. Lawrence Dorfman
I got my hair highlighted because I felt that some strands were more important than others. Mitch Hedberg
A celebrity is any well-known TV or movie star who looks like he spends more than two hours working on his hair. Steve Martin
I read somewhere that hair grows until you reach 40, then it goes in the opposite direction, into the head, and out the ears, nose and other odd places. Tim Allen
I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day. Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair. Tommy Cooper
Even geniuses can get things wrong. Look at Einstein’s unfortunate choice of a hairdresser. Joss Stirling
Naturally curly hair is a curse, and don't ever let anyone tell you different. Mary Ann Shaffer
Her hair was a glory of tendrils for the snaring of husbands. Michael Chabon
If my hair gets any frizzier, I'll shave it to the scalp. Or light it on fire. Whichever is easier. Victoria Scott
My toes are a total wreck, my fingernails worse, and god knows my hair could use a registered nurse. Jack Bunbury