Funny Motivational Sayings and Quotes

Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old funny motivational quotes, funny motivational sayings, and funny motivational proverbs, collected over the years from a variety of sources.

Always remember that you are unique. Just like everybody else. Anonymous
If you let your head get too big, it'll break your neck. Elvis Presley
Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times. Helen Rowland
Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia. Charles Schulz
Opportunity is always knocking. The problem is that most people have the self-doubt station in their heads turned up way too loud to hear it. Brian Vaszily
The only time I don't have any problems in this world is when I am already six feet below the ground. James Jason
When you have failed at being nice, you've actually succeeded in being mean. Success is everywhere if you know where to look for it. Katina Ferguson
Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday. Dale Carnegie
The process of learning is a nonstop orgy of wonderment. Lev Grossman
The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it. Franklin P. Jones
Aspire to inspire before we expire. Eugene Bell Jr.
By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day. Robert Frost
When you pray be careful of how you respond to what you get. I read somewhere that if you pray for rain. Don't complain about the mud! Hyacinth Mottley
The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces. Will Rogers
Watching a person who successfully loses fifty pounds and changes her life is more inspirational than listening to a fitness coach with a perfect body. Martin Meadows
If laughter is the best medicine, let's OD together. Michael P. Clutton
I enjoy growing older and wiser and learning from my mistakes every single day. Ellen DeGeneres
Opportunity does not knock, it presents itself when you beat down the door. Kyle Chandler
Here is a test to find whether your mission on earth is finished – If you're alive it isn't. Richard Bach
If you're going through hell, keep going. Winston Churchill
Life is like the stock market. Some days you're up. Some days you're down. And some days you feel like something the bull left behind. Paula Wall
Goal setting is similar to travelling from point A to point B within a city. If you clearly understand what the goal is, you will definitely reach the destination because you know its address. Thomas Abreu
I find television very educational. Every time someone turns it on, I go in the other room and read a book. Groucho Marx
Never hold discussions with the monkey when the organ grinder is in the room. Winston Churchill
I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade. And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party. Ron White
If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito. Dalai Lama
Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest. Mark Twain
I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific. Lily Tomlin
The elevator to success is out of order. You'll have to use the stairs, one step at a time. Joe Girard
It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by then I was too famous. Robert Benchley
Quality questions create a quality life. Successful people ask better questions, and as a result, they get better answers. Anthony Robbins
I have never known a man who died from overwork, but many who died from doubt. Charles Horace Mayo
To succeed in life you need three things: A wishbone, a backbone, and a funny bone. Reba McEntire
Never look back. If Cinderella had looked back and picked up the shoe, she would have never found her prince. Selena Gomez
We must overcome the notion that we must be regular. It robs you of the chance to be extraordinary. Uta Hagen
I would rather fail in a cause that would ultimately succeed than succeed in a cause that would ultimately fail. Woodrow Wilson
All you need in this life ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure. Mark Twain
To me, success is merely the process of fulfilling your own hopes and dreams— not by the standards set by society— but by the standards set by me. George Pataki
Success is the space one occupies in the newspaper. Elias Canetti
Success is a science; if you have the conditions, you get the result. Oscar Wilde
The best advice I've ever received is, 'No one else knows what they're doing either.' Ricky Gervais
The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing. Walt Disney Company
Ambition is like a no sooner get to the end of it then you begin again. Josh Billings
Good advice is something a man gives when he is too old to set a bad example. Francois de la Rochefoucauld
Ambition is not a vice of little people. Montaigne
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying. Oscar Wilde
Life is like a sewer… what you get out of it depends on what you put into it. Tom Lehrer
You can't have everything. Where would you put it? Steven Wright
Bad decisions make good stories. Ellis Vidler
Optimist: someone who figures that taking a step backward after taking a step forward is not a disaster, it’s more like a cha-cha. Robert Brault
Even a stopped clock is right twice every day. After some years, it can boast of a long series of successes. Marie Von Ebner-Eschenbach
Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work. Thomas Edison
The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it. Terry Pratchett
It could be that your purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others. Ashleigh Brilliant
If you don't know where you are going, you might wind up someplace else. Yogi Berra
When I hear somebody sigh, Life is hard, I am always tempted to ask, ‘Compared to what? Sydney Harris
The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office. Robert Frost
We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing. George Bernard Shaw