Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous
old funny motivational quotes, funny motivational sayings, and funny motivational proverbs, collected over the years from a variety
of sources.
Always remember that you are unique. Just like everybody else.Anonymous
2
If you let your head get too big, it'll break your neck.Elvis Presley
1
Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.Helen Rowland
0
Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia.Charles Schulz
1
Opportunity is always knocking. The problem is that most people have the self-doubt station in their heads turned up way too loud to hear it.Brian Vaszily
1
The only time I don't have any problems in this world is when I am already six feet below the ground.James Jason
1
When you have failed at being nice, you've actually succeeded in being mean. Success is everywhere if you know where to look for it.Katina Ferguson
1
Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.Dale Carnegie
1
The process of learning is a nonstop orgy of wonderment.Lev Grossman
1
The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it.Franklin P. Jones
1
Aspire to inspire before we expire.Eugene Bell Jr.
0
By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.Robert Frost
1
When you pray be careful of how you respond to what you get. I read somewhere that if you pray for rain. Don't complain about the mud!Hyacinth Mottley
0
The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.Will Rogers
1
Watching a person who successfully loses fifty pounds and changes her life is more inspirational than listening to a fitness coach with a perfect body.Martin Meadows
0
If laughter is the best medicine, let's OD together.Michael P. Clutton
0
I enjoy growing older and wiser and learning from my mistakes every single day.Ellen DeGeneres
1
Opportunity does not knock, it presents itself when you beat down the door.Kyle Chandler
0
Here is a test to find whether your mission on earth is finished – If you're alive it isn't.Richard Bach
0
If you're going through hell, keep going.Winston Churchill
1
Life is like the stock market. Some days you're up. Some days you're down. And some days you feel like something the bull left behind.Paula Wall
0
Goal setting is similar to travelling from point A to point B within a city. If you clearly understand what the goal is, you will definitely reach the destination because you know its address.Thomas Abreu
1
I find television very educational. Every time someone turns it on, I go in the other room and read a book.Groucho Marx
0
Never hold discussions with the monkey when the organ grinder is in the room.Winston Churchill
1
I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade. And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.Ron White
0
If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.Dalai Lama
1
Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.Mark Twain
1
I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.Lily Tomlin
2
The elevator to success is out of order. You'll have to use the stairs, one step at a time.Joe Girard
1
It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by then I was too famous.Robert Benchley
0
Quality questions create a quality life. Successful people ask better questions, and as a result, they get better answers.Anthony Robbins
1
I have never known a man who died from overwork, but many who died from doubt.Charles Horace Mayo
0
To succeed in life you need three things: A wishbone, a backbone, and a funny bone.Reba McEntire
1
Never look back. If Cinderella had looked back and picked up the shoe, she would have never found her prince.Selena Gomez
0
We must overcome the notion that we must be regular. It robs you of the chance to be extraordinary.Uta Hagen
1
I would rather fail in a cause that would ultimately succeed than succeed in a cause that would ultimately fail.Woodrow Wilson
1
All you need in this life ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.Mark Twain
1
To me, success is merely the process of fulfilling your own hopes and dreams— not by the standards set by society— but by the standards set by me.George Pataki
1
Success is the space one occupies in the newspaper.Elias Canetti
1
Success is a science; if you have the conditions, you get the result.Oscar Wilde
1
The best advice I've ever received is, 'No one else knows what they're doing either.'Ricky Gervais
1
The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing.Walt Disney Company
1
Ambition is like a treadmill...you no sooner get to the end of it then you begin again.Josh Billings
1
Good advice is something a man gives when he is too old to set a bad example.Francois de la Rochefoucauld
1
Ambition is not a vice of little people.Montaigne
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I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.Oscar Wilde
1
Life is like a sewer… what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.Tom Lehrer
1
You can't have everything. Where would you put it?Steven Wright
1
Bad decisions make good stories.Ellis Vidler
0
Optimist: someone who figures that taking a step backward after taking a step forward is not a disaster, it’s more like a cha-cha.Robert Brault
1
Even a stopped clock is right twice every day. After some years, it can boast of a long series of successes.Marie Von Ebner-Eschenbach
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Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.Thomas Edison
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The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.Terry Pratchett
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It could be that your purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others.Ashleigh Brilliant
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If you don't know where you are going, you might wind up someplace else.Yogi Berra
1
When I hear somebody sigh, Life is hard, I am always tempted to ask, ‘Compared to what?Sydney Harris
1
The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.Robert Frost
1
We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.George Bernard Shaw