Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous
old funny movie quotes, funny movie sayings, and funny movie proverbs, collected over the years from a variety
of sources.
First rule of leadership: everything is your fault.A Bug's Life
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Husbands should be like Kleenex: soft, strong, and disposable.Clue (1985)
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Some people play hard to get. I play hard to want.Andrew Dice Clay
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Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.The Godfather, Part II (1974)
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All I've ever wanted was an honest week's pay for an honest day's work. Bilko
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I have strong feelings about gun control. If there's a gun around, I want to be controlling it.Clint Eastwood
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If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you. Winnie the Pooh
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I'm bigger than you and higher up the food chain. Get in my belly.Austin Powers
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You know, it takes two to get one in trouble.She Done Him Wrong
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A bird may love a fish, Signore, but where would they live?Drew Barrymore
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What exactly is the function of a rubber duck?Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (2002)
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Do you know how hard it is to find a decent man in this town? Most of them think monogamy is some kind of wood.Peggy Brandt
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Fish are friends, not food.Barry Humphries
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Do or do not, there is no try.Jedi Master Yoda in Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back
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May the Force be with you.Star Wars
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When women go wrong, men go right after them.Mae West
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Get busy living or get busy dying.Tiffany
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Death cannot stop true love, it can only delay it for a little while.Cary Elwes
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I live at home with my parents. It's just temporary ... 'til they die.Gordon (Kevin Kirkpatrick), Gamers (2006)
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You can't handle the truth! A Few Good Men
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I make up a new dance move. It's called the “move on with your life".Will Ferrell
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You can put a cat in an oven, but that don't make a biscuit.White Men Can't Jump
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You'll live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to. Interiors (1978)
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The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides...Samuel L. Jackson
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What's the difference between a wife and a job? After 10 years a job still sucks.What Woman Want
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Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops.Arsenic and Old Lace
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Some things are not meant to last, they just take a place in your heart and make you smarter the next time.Alex and Emma
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Yeah... you're a legend in your own mind.Clint Eastwood
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You know how men are. They think ‘No' means ‘Yes' and ‘Get lost' means ‘Take me, I'm yours.'Megara
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Truth hurts. Maybe not as much as jumping on a bicycle with a seat missing, but it hurts.Leslie Nielsen
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The doctors say he has a 50-50 chance of surviving, but there's only a ten percent chance of that.Gregory Hines
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The key is, to not think of death as an end, but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses.Love and Death (1975)
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Life is a drama full of tragedy and comedy. You should learn to enjoy the comic episodes a little more.Frank Zappa
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Well, it's not the men in your life that counts, it's the life in your men.Mae West
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I feel the need to express something, but I don't know what it is I want to express.Interiors (1978)
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Husbands are like wine, they take a long time to mature.Letters to Juliet
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Between two evils I always pick the one I never tried before.Mae West
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Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room!Bud Abbott
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My husband and I fell in love at first sight... maybe I should have taken a second look. Holly Reed (Mia Farrow) in Crimes and Misdemeanors