Funny Political Sayings and Quotes

Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old funny political quotes, funny political sayings, and funny political proverbs, collected over the years from a variety of sources.

A politician needs the ability to foretell what is going to happen tomorrow, next week, next month, and next year. And to have the ability afterwards to explain why it didn't happen. Winston Churchill
Politics is the only art whose artists regularly disown their masterpieces. Raheel Farooq
Every politician has a promising career. Unfortunately, most of them do not keep those promises. Jarod Kintz
Politics, noun. A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage. Ambrose Bierce
It's easier to fool people than to convince them they have been fooled. Mark Twain
Politics is war without bloodshed, while war is politics with bloodshed. Mao Tse-Tung
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason. José Maria de Eça de Queiroz
Politicians and sports coaches both need to be smart enough to master the game, but dumb enough to think it matters. David Mitchell
Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build bridges even when there are no rivers. Nikita Khrushchev
The Democrats are the party of government activism, the party that says government can make you richer, smarter, taller, and get the chickweed out of your lawn. Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work, and then get elected and prove it. P.J. O'Rourke
Since a politician never believes what he says, he is quite surprised to be taken at his word. Charles De Gaulle
The problem with political jokes is they get elected. Henry Cate VII
Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke. Will Rogers
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies. Groucho Marx
Being president is like running a cemetery: you've got a lot of people under you and nobody's listening. Bill Clinton
The lavish and shameful use of money to gain political office wouldn't be so bad if the office ever got anything out of it. Kin Hubbard
Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politician as a joke. Will Rogers
Politics are too serious a matter to be left to the politicians. Charles De Gaulle
It is inexcusable for scientists to torture animals; let them make their experiments on journalists and politicians. Henrik Ibsen
A politician, one that would circumvent God. William Shakespeare
Every politician should have been born an orphan and remain a bachelor. Bathroom Readers' Institute
A politician thinks of the next election; a statesman, of the next generation. John Kenneth Galbraith
In politics, a lie unanswered becomes truth within 24 hours. Willie Brown
In politics, nothing happens by accident. If it happened, you can bet it was planned that way. Franklin Roosevelt
Give me control of a nation's money and I care not who makes the laws. Mayer Amschel Rothschild
I have sacrificed everything in my life that I consider precious in order to advance the political. Edith Galt
In order to become the master, the politician poses as the servant. Charles De Gaulle
Politics has become so expensive that it takes a lot of money even to be defeated. Will Rogers
Radical changes in world politics leave America with a heightened responsibility to be, for the world, an example of a genuinely free, democratic, just and humane society. Pope John Paul II
The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun. R. Buckminster Fuller
I can't let important policy decisions hinge on the fact that an election is coming up every 90 days. Gerhard Schroder
One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors. Plato
You can't separate oil and politics. Ian Rankin
In Washington the only relationship that mattered was the one that served as an adjunct to political influence. Steve Pieczenik
Political speeches are like steer horns. A point here, a point here. Bangambiki Habyarimana
Politics and war that my sons may have liberty to study mathematics and philosophy. John Adams
Many politicians are in the habit of laying it down as a self evident proposition that no people ought to be free till they are fit to use their freedom. Bangambiki Habyarimana
Politics is war without bloodshed while war is politics with bloodshed. Mao Zedong
Every Communist must grasp the truth, 'Political power grows out of the barrel of a gun'. Mao Zedong
Man is by nature a political animal. Aristophanes