Funny Retirement Sayings and Quotes

Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old funny retirement quotes, funny retirement sayings, and funny retirement proverbs, collected over the years from a variety of sources.

Retirement is wonderful. It's doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it. Gene Perret
The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off. Abe Lemons
Happiness is being retired and spending all of my kids' inheritance before I die! Anon
Age is only a number, a cipher for the records. A man can't retire his experience. He must use it. Bernard M. Baruch
Retirement kills more people than hard work ever did. Malcolm Forbes
Gainfully unemployed, very proud of it, too. Charles Baxter
Retired is being tired twice, I've thought, first tired of working, then tired of not. Richard Armour
Retirement, a time to do what you want to do, when you want to do it, where you want to do it, and, how you want to do it. Catherine Pulsifer
When some people retire, it's going to be mighty hard to be able to tell the difference. Virginia Graham
While some people can't wait until their retirement, others feel cheated that they have to retire at all. Catherine Pulsifer
Sooner or later I'm going to die, but I'm not going to retire. Margaret Mead
In retirement, every day is Boss Day and every day is Employee Appreciation Day. Terri Guillemets
To retire is to begin to die. Pablo Casals
For retirement brings repose, and repose allows a kindly judgment of all things. John Sharp
Sometimes it's hard to tell if retirement is a reward for a lifetime of hard work or a punishment. Terri Guillemets
When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income. Chi Chi Rodriguez
Retirement is the ugliest word in the language. Ernest Hemingway
Your best retirement plan for retiring happy and prosperous - don't be a burden on others. Ernie J Zelinski
I'm now as free as the breeze — with roughly the same income. Gene Perret
If you are going to go broke before retirement, retire first. Dave Erhard
Like life, retirement can be full of surprises. Take when you retire, for example. Talbot Boggs

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