Funny School Sayings and Quotes

Love it or hate it, there’s no doubt school plays a large role in our formative years simply due to the amount of years spent going to class. This can lead to some pretty entertaining and embarrassing moments. Below you’ll find a collection of humorous and funny school quotes.

It's easier to floss with barbed wire than admit you like someone in middle school. Laurie Halse Anderson
School is learning things you don't want to know, surrounded by people you wish you didn't know, while working toward a future you don't know will ever come. Dave Kellett
The most important thing we learn at school is the fact that the most important things can't be learned at school. Haruki Murakami
In school they told me Practice makes perfect. And then they told me Nobody's perfect, so then I stopped practicing. Steven Wright
We all learn by experience but some of us have to go to summer school. Peter De Vries
You can drag my body to school but my spirit refuses to go. Bill Watterson
As long as teachers give tests, there will always be prayer in schools. unknown
A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. Theodore Roosevelt
There are only two places in the world where time takes precedence over the job to be done: school and prison. William Glasser
School is one long illness with symptoms that switch every five minutes so you think it's getting better or worse. But really it's the same thing for years and years. Helen Oyeyemi
As long as algebra is taught in school, there will be prayer in school. Cokie Roberts
You send your child to the schoolmaster, but 'tis the schoolboys who educate him. Ralph Waldo Emerson
If there were no schools to take the children away from home part of the time, the insane asylums would be filled with mothers. Edgar W. Howe
School is practice for future life, practice makes perfect and nobody's perfect, so why practice? Billie Joe Armstrong
You can't learn in school what the world is going to do next year. Henry Ford
In school one learns to ask stupid questions of life. Marty Rubin
Show me the man who enjoyed his schooldays and I will show you a bully and a bore. Robert Morley
School is the advertising agency which makes you believe that you need the society as it is. Ivan Illich
The trouble with school is they give you the answer, then they give you the exam. That's not life.... Ziad K. Abdelnour
Schools kill time and creativity. Find ways to workaround these limitations. Gossy Ukanwoke
In recalling their school years, students mostly remember their teachers, and not the courses they took. unknown
Every time you stop a school, you will have to build a jail. What you gain at one end you lose at the other. It's like feeding a dog on his own tail. It won't fatten the dog. Mark Twain
There is nothing on earth intended for innocent people so horrible as a school. George Bernard Shaw
No school without spectacular eccentrics and crazy hearts is worth attending. Saul Bellow
I said school starts tomorrow. I didn't say I was going to be there. Kim Harrison
School days, I believe, are the unhappiest in the whole span of human existence. H. L. Mencken
I go to school, but I never learn what I want to know. Bill Watterson
When I say I miss school, I mean my friends and the fun. Not the school. unknown
A child educated only at school is an uneducated child. George Santayana
School means work and work means death. Let's all go take a nap. Emma Shannon
Today is the first day of the rest of you life. Charles Dederich
The most important day of a person’s education is the first day of school, not Graduation Day. Harry Wong
You’re off to great to great places. Today is your first day! Your mountain is waiting, so get on your way! Dr. Seuss
I’ve always loved the first day of school better than the last day of school. Firsts are best because they are beginnings. Jenny Han
All children start their school careers with sparkling imaginations, fertile minds, and a willingness to take risks with what they think. Ken Robinson
School bells are ringing loud and clear; vacation’s over, school is here. Winifred C. Marshal
Let us remember: One book, one pen, one child and one teacher can change the world. Malala Yousafzai
It’s one of my favorite seasons of the year: Back to School. As a kid, I loved fresh school supplies, new outfits, the change of seasons, and the chance to crack open a new textbook. Dana Perino
The roots of education are bitter, but the fruit is sweet. Aristotle
High school is what kind of grows you into the person you are. I have great memories, good and bad, some learning experiences and some that I’ll take with me the rest of my life. Giancarlo Stanton
But if there's a school bus, there needs to be a school! Fred Rogers
I have to get back in school somewhere. I can't just go home and tell my mother I got kicked out of school. Michael Schiffer
Back to school. Back to school, to prove to Dad that I'm not a fool. I got my lunch packed up, my boots tied tight, I hope I don't get in a fight. Tim Herlihy
This is not a gay school. We just have a zero tolerance harassment policy. Ryan Murphy
No state schools are cheap. Bonnie Turner
It's my first day of high school. I have seven new notebooks, a skirt I hate, and a stomach ache. Laurie Halse Anderson
School spirit' is a curious term. The phrase might sound as if it refers to a ghost or other undead phantasm haunting an educational establishment like very old gum clinging to a trophy case. What 'school spirit' actually refers to is the belief one particular school is better than another. Daniel Handler
It's been two weeks. That's like a decade in high school years. Rob Thomas
My father sent me to a school that looked a lot like this one. A military academy in Pennsylvania. Perhaps you've heard of it. The Armitage School. William P. Kennedy
Do you think you can handle all of your classes? Don't forget your school happens to be one of the top public schools in the greater Los Angeles area. I'm sure the work load must be tremendous. Nathanael Coffman
It's the last day of school! Well, big brother, can you believe it? My last day of school. No more reading, writing, arithmetic! No more learning forever! Craig Schulz
Private schools have diversity, mum. There are millionaires, billionaires. Tom Leopold
Well, you should be excited at the chance to go back to school. I remember you wanted to return to school, and while it's not the same one. Raita Honjou
What I hate most about school is that my mom can't read me my bedtime stories. Dan Houser
Because now that you're out of school, you'll be taking a real test. Greg Johnson
Ain't no registration / Ain't no student loan / You may not learn to read or write / But you will surely learn to roll dem bones / Get on back to school. Jimmy Buffett
Found myself a matchbook / Beside some hotel bed / Opened it up and looked inside / And this is what it said / Get on back to school. Jimmy Buffett
Moving at the High School Hop / Everybody's hopping, everybody's rocking / Bopping at the High School Hop. Jerry Lee Lewis
Well open up, honey / It's your lover boy me that's a knocking / Why don't you listen to me, sugar / All the cats are at the High School rocking. Jerry Lee Lewis
I can't wait to get to school each day / And wait for you to pass my way / And bell starts to ring / An angel starts to sing. Brian Holland
Well we can't salute ya can't find a flag / If that don't suit ya that's a drag / School's out for summer / School's out forever / School's been blown to pieces. Alice Cooper
I'm so glad that school is in / An I can see my old classmates again / I worked and slaved the summer through / Doing all the things my mama told me to do. Josie Cotton
Let me tell you about scientific management / And the theft of its concealment / The Birmingham School of Business School / In Birmingham / It's main theme Dave Bush
Monday morning school day / Eat your breakfast, arrest your books / You're late for school Corey Hart
What did you learn in school today / Dear little boy of mine? / I learned that Washington never told a lie / I learned that soldiers seldom die / I learned that everybody's free / And that's what the teacher said to me Tom Paxton
When some loud braggart tries to put me down / And says his school is great / I tell him right away / Now what's the matter buddy / Ain't you heard of my school / It's number one in the state Michael Love
So be true to your school now / Just like you would to your girl or guy / Be true to your school now / And let your colors fly Michael Love
You never have to worry / If you save your lunch money / So you'll have the chance / To get your ticket in a hurry / For the high school dance. Edmund Sylvers
Dance to the beat of the band / We're gonna dance at the high school dance / Boogie to the beat of the band, ooh / Boogie to the high school dance. Edmund Sylvers
Remember back in high school / When you couldn't wait / For the very first dance / You lay your homework was the rule / And just thinking about the music / Puts you in a trance. Edmund Sylvers
Just like in other parts of your life , you will get out of middle school what you put into it. Sandy Silverthorne
You could just go to school, do the work and get through it, or you could really dive in and take advantage of all the cool opportunities that are now available to you. Sandy Silverthorne
Extracurricular activities are the things that can make your middle school experience rich, fun, and rewarding. Sandy Silverthorne
We treat people in the schools like children, not adults. We don't treat them like professionals. The only way to attract bright people to education is to give them working conditions where they can use their minds. Carl D. Glickman
The secret is to steal-to walk into another teacher's classroom and say, 'Give me that.' Harry Wong
Well-prepared teachers are the most distributed school resource. Linda Darling-Hammond
Even in schools with weak or threadbare cultures, it is usually possible to find some things worth celebrating. Those stories, values, traditions, heroes or heroines provide a viral starting point for updating, reinvigorating, and reframing the school's identity and culture. Lee G. Bolman
Lord, grant that I may always desire more than I can accomplish Michelangelo
You can learn anything you need to learn to achieve any goal you set for yourself. There are no limits except the limits you place on your imagination. Brian Tracy
The 5 most common words heard by a school principal: 'Have you got a minute?' John Blaydes