Funny Sports Sayings and Quotes
Sports are all about grit, adrenaline, and competition. But just because you work hard and sweat hard, doesn’t mean you can’t find humor in sports. Who doesn’t enjoy a funny sports blooper reel? Below you’ll find a collection of humorous and funny sports quotes.
I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators.
Gerald R. Ford
The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.
All hockey players are bilingual. They know English and profanity.
The first half was even, the second half was even worse.
Sports are the reason I am out of shape. I watch them all on TV.
Baseball is almost the only orderly thing in a very un-orderly world. If you get three strikes, even the best lawyer in the world can't get you off.
Wrestling is ballet with violence.
Playing polo is like trying to play golf during an earthquake.
If a tie is like kissing your sister, losing is like kissing your grandmother with her teeth out.
Rugby is a beastly game played by gentlemen; soccer is a gentleman's game played by beasts; football is a beastly game played by beasts.
I've never lost a game I just ran out of time.
If you make every game a life-and-death thing, you're going to have problems. You'll be dead a lot.
Baseball is like church. Many attend, few understand.
I don't have any tricky plays, I'd rather have tricky players.
You win some, lose some, and wreck some.
I think football would become an even better game if someone could invent a ball that kicks back.
The rules of soccer are very simple, basically it is this: if it moves, kick it. If it doesn't move, kick it until it does.
Pro football is like nuclear warfare. There are no winners, only survivors.
Serious sport is war minus the shooting.
If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.
The breakfast of champions is not cereal, it's the opposition.
One day of practice is like one day of clean living. It doesn't do you any good.
If practice makes perfect, and no one is perfect, why practice?
If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.
To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there's no music, no choreography, and the dancers hit each other.
The only way to prove that you're a good sport is to lose.
I figure practice puts your brains in your muscles.
It's a round ball and a round bat, and you got to hit it square.
The trouble with referees is that they know the rules, but they do not know the game.
The NFL, like life, is full of idiots.
That awkward moment when you're wearing Nike's and you can't do it.
The fewer rules a coach has, the fewer rules there are for players to break.
Tennis and golf are best played, not watched.
Losing is the great American sin.
If you can beat a team 6-5, you're better off than losing 5-4.
The most important thing about batting is getting the bat to hit the ball.
Football games turn on things that are done by players.
I knew I had to win today, otherwise she would have beaten me.
It's bad to get hit on your chin. Because it's attached to your head.
Solo homers usually come with no one on base.
As the ball gets softer, it loses its hardness.
In order to start winning, we have to stop losing.
It's hard to get a hit if you strike out.
We need the players, because without the players we wouldn't have a team.
Better teams win more often than the teams that are not so good.
Tis not that rural sports alone invite, but all the grateful country breathes delight.
Baseball is the only field of endeavor where a man can succeed three times out of ten and be considered a good performer.
Baseball is like church. Many attend; few understand.
Baseball is 90% mental. The other half is physical.
Just sports. Playing games versus playing - sports?