Funny Tennis Sayings and Quotes

Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old funny tennis quotes, funny tennis sayings, and funny tennis proverbs, collected over the years from a variety of sources.

What a polite game tennis is. The chief word in it seems to be "sorry" and admiration of each other's play crosses the net as frequently as the ball. James Matthew Barrie
Good shot, bad luck, and hell are the five basic words to be used in a game of tennis, though these, of course, can be slightly amplified. Virginia Graham
The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall. Mitch Hedberg
An otherwise happily married couple may turn a mixed doubles game into a scene from Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf. Rod Laver
Why has slamming a ball with a racquet become so obsessive a pleasure for so many of us? It seems clear to me that a primary attraction of the sport is the opportunity it gives to release aggression physically without being arrested for felonious assault. Nat Hentoff
Whoever said, "It's not whether you win or lose that counts," probably lost. Martina Navratilova
Tennis is not a gentle game. Psychologically, it is vicious. That people are only just beginning to come to terms with this fact illustrates just how big a con trick has been perpetrated on the non-playing tennis public - and even a few players, usually losing players - for decades. Richard Evans
Tennis is a psychological sport, you have to keep a clear head. That is why I stopped playing. Boris Becker
Though your game is hardly the best, you can fray your opponent's nerves by methodically bouncing the ball at least ten times before your serves. Arnold J. Zarett
The serve was invented so the net could play. Bill Cosby
'Oh and Oh' is a tennis term . . . . It's a nice way of saying you took your opponent to pieces. Venus Williams
The fifth set is not about tennis, it's about nerves. Boris Becker
If you can keep playing tennis when somebody is shooting a gun down the street, that's concentration. Serena Williams
Tennis: a racquet sport in which two players compete to see who has the shortest temper, the worst memory, the poorest eyesight, and the slowest watch. Anonymous
In tennis, the addict moves about a hard rectangle and seeks to ambush a fuzzy ball with a modified snow-shoe. Elliot Chaze
She comes from a tennis playing family. Her father's a dentist. BBC 2
I have always considered tennis as a combat in an arena between two gladiators who have their racquets and their courage as their weapons. Yannick Noah
Tennis is a perfect combination of violent action taking place in an atmosphere of total tranquillity. Billie Jean King
The trouble with me is that every match I play against five opponents: umpire, crowd, ball boys, court, and myself. Goran Ivanišević
Life is like a game of tennis; the player who serves well seldom loses. unknown
The primary conception of tennis is to get the ball over the net and at the same time to keep it within the bounds of the court; failing this, within the borders of the neighborhood. Elliot Chaze
Tennis and golf are best played, not watched. Roger Kahn
Tennis is an addiction that once it has truly hooked a man will not let him go. Russell Lynes
What is the single most important quality in a tennis champion? I would have to say desire, staying in there and winning matches when you are not playing that well. John McEnroe
When I was 40, my doctor advised me that a man in his 40's shouldn't play tennis. I heeded his advice carefully and could hardly wait to reach 50 to start again. Hugo Black
Tennis; a racket sport in which two players compete to see who has the shortest temper, the worst memory, the poorest eyesight and the slowest watch. unknown
Tennis is mostly mental. You win or lose the match before you even go out there. Venus Williams
You don't have to be pretty for people to come and see you play. At the same time, if you're a good athlete, it doesn't mean you're not a woman. Martina Navratilova
Behind every tennis player there is another tennis player John McPhee
No one is more serious about his game than a weekend tennis player. Jimmy Cannon
I play Cinderella tennis. That is I don't quite get to the ball. Larry Adler
The worst thing I ever said to a tennis umpire was, 'Are you sure?' Rod Laver
If you see a tennis player as if he is working hard, that means he isn't very good. Helen Wills Moody
Tennis is a young man's game. Until you're twenty-five, you can play singles. From twenty-five to thirty-five, you should play doubles. I won't tell you exactly how old I am, but when I played, there were twenty-eight men on the court—just on my side of the net. George Burns
In lawn tennis mixed, the basic chivalry move is to pretend to serve less fiercely to the woman taken to the man. This is particularly useful if your first service tends to be out in any case. Stephen Potter
Andrea Jaeger plays tennis like she's double-parked. Mary Carillo
What a polite game tennis is. The chief word in it seems to be 'sorry' and admiration of each other's play crosses the net as frequently as the ball. J.M. Barrie
Pavarotti is very difficult to pass at the net in tennis, with or without a racquet. Peter Ustinov
No doubt about it... every day in every way my game grows stronger. I saw one enthusiast the other day playing with his racket out of the press. I'll have to try that. Erma Bombeck
Men hate to lose. I beat my husband once at tennis. I asked him, 'Will we ever make love again?' He said, 'Yes...but not with each other.' Rita Rudner
Anybody who can dial a telephone can master tennis scoring in about fifteen minutes. Sally Poplin
I call tennis the McDonald's of sport—you go in, they make a quick buck out of you and you're out. Pat Cash
New Yorkers love it when you spill your guts out there. Spill your guts at Wimbledon and they make you stop and clean it up. Jimmy Connors
I'd as soon write free verse as play tennis with the net down. Robert Frost
If you can react the same way to winning and losing, that's a big accomplishment. That quality is important because it stays with you the rest of your life, and there's going to be a life after tennis that's a lot longer than your tennis life. Chris Evert Lloyd
Love is very much like a tennis'll never win consistently until you learn to serve well. Dan P. Herod
He's quick enough to play tennis by himself. Jim Killingsworth
It’s one-on-one out there, man. There ain't no hiding. I can't pass the ball. Pete Sampras
Greatest thing in life: Winning a tennis match. Second greatest thing in life: Losing a tennis match Jimmy Connors
Tennis was never work for me, tennis was fun. And the tougher the battle and the longer the match, the more fun I had Jimmy Connors
When you do something best in life, you don't really want to give that up – and for me it’s tennis. Roger Federer
Girls had never been important. I’d had a girlfriend or two and had liked them a lot but it wasn't love, because my first love was tennis. Boris Becker
The tennis ball doesn't know how old I am. The ball doesn't know if I'm a man or a woman or if I come from a communist country or not. Sport has always broken down these barriers. Martina Navratilova
I can't become satisfied, because if I get satisfied, I’ll be like, 'Oh, I've won Wimbledon, I've won the U.S. Open. Now can I relax?' But now people are really going to be fighting to beat me. Serena Williams
Actually, I tossed it nicely, landed nicely, like airplane. No warning, beautiful. That's the art of throwing racquets. Goran Ivanisevic
When the Williams sisters play tennis, it gets pretty hot. When they start grunting, I'm in. Robin Williams
Sex doesn't interfere with your tennis; it’s staying out all night trying to find it that affects your tennis Andre Agassi
When I play, I feel like in a theatre, why should I look ugly then, because I'm a tennis player? Anna Kournikova
I asked my doctors if I'd be able to play singles tennis and they said I could. That made me very happy since I haven't played in five years. Walter Cronkite