Martini Sayings and Quotes

Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old martini quotes, martini sayings, and martini proverbs, collected over the years from a variety of sources.

I’m not talking a cup of cheap gin splashed over an ice cube. I’m talking satin, fire and ice; Fred Astaire in a glass; surgical cleanliness, insight.. comfort; redemption and absolution. I’m talking MARTINI. Anonymous
I am prepared to believe that a dry martini slightly impairs the palate, but think what it does for the soul. Alec Waugh
Happiness is finding two olives in your martini when you're hungry. It's certainly become much more en vogue lately. Michael Luria
Martinis are the only American invention as perfect as a sonnet. H.L.Mencken
One martini is all right. Two are too many, and three are not enough. James Thurber
When I have one martini, I feel bigger, wiser, taller. When I have a second, I feel superlative. When I have more, there's no holding me. William Faulkner
A fine martini has a surface tension. It should stun, then cascade through your being. Richard Darcy
There is something about a Martini, A tingle remarkably pleasant; A yellow, a mellow Martini; I wish that I had one at present. Ogden Nash
The martini (a.k.a. The Silver bullet, The Cold War, White Lightning, Olive Soup, and See-Through) is not just a drink. It is the soul of cocktail—a liquid icon. Nannette Stone
Martinis . . . have a muting effect on the constant ringing in my ears, and as five o'clock approaches, my thoughts turn toward the elixir of quietude. Gin stops the bell from tolling. E.B. White
The three-martini lunch is the epitome of American efficiency. Where else can you get an earful, a bellyful and a snootful at the same time? Gerald R. Ford
Martinis are glamorous but also so simple because they only have a few ingredients, and you can really taste the vodka. Stephanie Sigman
Russians really needed a product that would be not as strong as vodka and not as feminine as cheap sparkling wine, so Martini was a good solution. Roustam Tariko
A good martini, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman..or a bad woman. Depending on how much happiness you can stand. George Burns
A well-made Martini or Gibson, correctly chilled and nicely served, has been more often my true friend than any two-legged creature. M.F.K. Fisher
I'm not a drinker, my body won't, really. I had two martinis New Years Eve and I tried to hi-jack an elevator and fly it to Cuba. Woody Allen
A word of caution to neophyte Martini drinkers: When taken to excess, this perfectly civilized drink can lead directly to uncivilized behavior. . . . The purpose of the Martini is to enhance the evening, not to obliterate it. Bernaby Conrad III
The two-martinis-for-lunch bunch would love for us to fight each other over the resources they have made scarce. Barbara Mikulski
A priest is sent to Alaska. A bishop goes up to visit one year later. The bishop asks, How do you like it up here? The priest says, If it wasn't for my Rosary, and 2 martinis a day, I'd be lost. Bishop, would you like a martini? Yes. Rosary, get the bishop a martini! Henny Youngman
A raise is like a martini: it elevates the spirit, but only temporarily. Daniel Seligman
Suffering is as necessary to entertaining as vermouth is to a Martini - a small but vital ingredient. Phyllis McGinley
R-E-M-O-R-S-E! Those dry martinis did the work for me; Last night at twelve I felt immense, Today I feel like thirty cents. George Ade