Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous
old toilet quotes, toilet sayings, and toilet proverbs, collected over the years from a variety
of sources.
The flush toilet, more than any single invention, has 'civilized' us in a way that religion and law could never accomplish.Thomas Lynch
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Every time you step into your toilet you should appreciate how your body is expelling toxins and waste. You should feel refreshed and grateful.Shoukei Matsumoto
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Just like the rest of the home, the toilet is the place to be considerate of others as well as yourself.Shoukei Matsumoto
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When the sh–t hits the fan, you really have to ask yourself why you weren't sitting on the toilet.Anthony T.Hincks
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You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar.George Carlin
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You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet.Alan King
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There comes a time in every man's life when he needs his own toilet.Patrick Süskind
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Life before toilet paper was not worth living.Sherrilyn Kenyon
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The world is divided up into two kinds of people - those who look at their body waste in the toilet bowl, and those who don't.John Gregory Dunne
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The only process you've mastered is the process of elimination, and the only reason you've mastered that is because you can do it in the toilet.Orson Scott Card
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Public toilets have a duty to be accessible, poetry does not.Geoffrey Hill
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There's no place like home. And there's no toilet like your own.Taylor York
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There probably was a time when the idea of having a toilet inside a house was repulsive.Mokokoma Mokhonoana
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Sooner or later, all magazines end up in the toilet.Maurizio Cattelan
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In many parts of the world, more people have access to a mobile device than to a toilet or running water...Nancy Gibbs
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You learn a lot about people when you're sitting on their bathroom floor or on their toilet seat, rifling through their stuff.Emily Weiss