Toilet Sayings and Quotes

Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old toilet quotes, toilet sayings, and toilet proverbs, collected over the years from a variety of sources.

The flush toilet, more than any single invention, has 'civilized' us in a way that religion and law could never accomplish. Thomas Lynch
Every time you step into your toilet you should appreciate how your body is expelling toxins and waste. You should feel refreshed and grateful. Shoukei Matsumoto
Just like the rest of the home, the toilet is the place to be considerate of others as well as yourself. Shoukei Matsumoto
When the sh–t hits the fan, you really have to ask yourself why you weren't sitting on the toilet. Anthony T.Hincks
You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar. George Carlin
You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet. Alan King
There comes a time in every man's life when he needs his own toilet. Patrick Süskind
Life before toilet paper was not worth living. Sherrilyn Kenyon
The world is divided up into two kinds of people - those who look at their body waste in the toilet bowl, and those who don't. John Gregory Dunne
The only process you've mastered is the process of elimination, and the only reason you've mastered that is because you can do it in the toilet. Orson Scott Card
Public toilets have a duty to be accessible, poetry does not. Geoffrey Hill
There's no place like home. And there's no toilet like your own. Taylor York
There probably was a time when the idea of having a toilet inside a house was repulsive. Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Sooner or later, all magazines end up in the toilet. Maurizio Cattelan
In many parts of the world, more people have access to a mobile device than to a toilet or running water... Nancy Gibbs
You learn a lot about people when you're sitting on their bathroom floor or on their toilet seat, rifling through their stuff. Emily Weiss