Demetri Martin Sayings and Quotes

Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old Demetri Martin quotes, Demetri Martin sayings, and Demetri Martin proverbs, collected over the years from a variety of sources.

The shortest feedback loop I can think of is doing improvisation in front of an audience. Demetri Martin
A Wednesday with no rain is a dry hump day. Demetri Martin
When I am at rodeo I find it difficult not to root for the animals. Demetri Martin
The bird, the bee, the running child are all the same to the sliding glass door. Demetri Martin
Never forget where you came from. That's what I think when I walk into a cave. Demetri Martin
I think it's interesting that 'cologne' rhymes with 'alone.' Demetri Martin
A dreamcatcher works, if your dream is to be gay. Demetri Martin
I am a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a pita. Why the pita? That counts as another mystery. Demetri Martin
Relationships, like eyebrows, are better when there is space between them. Demetri Martin
Swimming is a confusing sport, because sometimes you do it for fun, and other times you do it to not die. And when I'm swimming, sometimes I'm not sure which one it is. Demetri Martin
I wrapped my Christmas presents early this year, but I used the wrong paper. See, the paper I used said 'Happy Birthday' on it. I didn't want to waste it, so I just wrote 'Jesus' on it. Demetri Martin