Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous
old Fred Allen quotes, Fred Allen sayings, and Fred Allen proverbs, collected over the years from a variety
of sources.'
If criticism had any power to harm, the skunk would be extinct by now.Fred Allen
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The last time I saw him he was walking down lover's lane holding his own hand.Fred Allen
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Treat employees like partners, and they act like partners.Fred Allen
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A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.Fred Allen
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I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back.Fred Allen
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Condensed milk is wonderful. I don't see how they can get a cow to sit down on those little cans.Fred Allen
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The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religionFred Allen
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A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.Fred Allen
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The world is a grindstone and life is your nose.Fred Allen
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California is a fine place to live if you happen to be an orange.Fred Allen
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A gentleman is any man who wouldn't hit a woman with his hat on.Fred Allen
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I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the sap.Fred Allen
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Television is a triumph of equipment over people, and the minds that control it are so small that you could put them in a gnat's navel with room left over for two caraway seeds and an agent's heart.Fred Allen
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Television is a device that permits people who haven't anything to do to watch people who can't do anything.Fred Allen
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Treat employees like partners, and they act like partners.Fred Allen
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Radio is called a medium because it is rare that anything is well done.Fred Allen
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Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.Fred Allen
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Television is the triumph of machine over people.Fred Allen
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A comedian who starts talking to himself becomes his own audience. This is fatal.Fred Allen
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A celebrity is a person who works hard all of their life to become well known, and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.Fred Allen
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A psychiatrists is the next man you start talking to after you start talking to yourself.Fred Allen
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A celebrity is a person who works hard all of their life to become well known, and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.Fred Allen
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Cocktail party: A gathering held to enable forty people to talk about themselves at the same time. The man who remains after the liquor is gone is the host.Fred Allen
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A conference is a gathering of people who singly can do nothing, but together can decide that nothing can be done.Fred Allen
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Washington is no place for a good actor. The competition from bad actors is too great.Fred Allen
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Cocktail party: A gathering held to enable forty people to talk about themselves at the same time. The man who remains after the liquor is gone is the host.Fred Allen
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The last time I saw him he was walking down lover's lane holding his own hand.Fred Allen
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I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back.Fred Allen
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The first thing that strikes a visitor to Paris is a taxi.
Fred Allen
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My uncle is a Southern planter. He's an undertaker in Alabama.Fred Allen