H. L. Mencken Sayings and Quotes

Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old H. L. Mencken quotes, H. L. Mencken sayings, and H. L. Mencken proverbs, collected over the years from a variety of sources.'

Have you ever watched a crab on the shore crawling backward in search of the Atlantic Ocean, and missing? That's the way the mind of man operates. H. L. Mencken
There is a saying in Baltimore that crabs may be prepared in fifty ways and that all of them are good. H. L. Mencken
Every election is a sort of advance auction sale of stolen goods. H. L. Mencken
The basic fact about human existence is not that it is a tragedy, but that it is a bore. It is not so much a war as an endless standing in line H. L. Mencken
The lunatic fringe wags the underdog. H. L. Mencken
Without a doubt there are women who would vote intelligently. There are also men who knit socks beautifully. H. L. Mencken
If a politician found he had cannibals among his constituents, he would promise them missionaries for dinner. H. L. Mencken
Bridges would not be safer if only people who knew the proper definition of a real number were allowed to design them. H. L. Mencken
Metaphysics is almost always an attempt to prove the incredible by an appeal to the unintelligible. H. L. Mencken
The motive of fear is the be-all and end-all of religion. H. L. Mencken
The cynics are right nine times out of ten. H. L. Mencken
A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin. H. L. Mencken
The worst government is often the most moral. One composed of cynics is often very tolerant and humane. But when fanatics are on top there is no limit to oppression. H. L. Mencken
Democratic man can understand the aims and aspirations of capitalism; they are, greatly magnified, simply his own aims and aspirations. H. L. Mencken
Christian theology is not only opposed to the scientific spirit; it is opposed to every other form of rational thinking. H. L. Mencken
Theology is the effort to explain the unknowable in terms of the not worth knowing. H. L. Mencken
The most valuable of all human possessions, next to a superior and disdainful air, is the reputation of being well to do. Nothing else so neatly eases one's way through life, especially in democratic countries. H. L. Mencken
Never let your inferiors do you a favor - it will be extremely costly. H. L. Mencken
Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under. H. L. Mencken
Hygiene is the corruption of medicine by morality. It is impossible to find a hygienist who does not debase his theory of the healthful with a theory of the virtuous. The true aim of medicine is not to make men virtuous; it is to safeguard and rescue them from the consequences of their vices. H. L. Mencken
The truth that survives is simply the lie that is pleasantest to believe. H. L. Mencken
The longest sentence you can form with two words is: I do. H. L. Mencken
It is not materialism that is the chief curse of the world, as pastors teach, but idealism. Men get into trouble by taking their visions and hallucinations too seriously. H. L. Mencken
An idealist is one who, on noticing that roses smell better than a cabbage, concludes that it will also make better soup. H. L. Mencken
The most satisfying and ecstatic faith is almost purely agnostic. It trusts absolutely without professing to know at all. H. L. Mencken
A man who is an agnostic by inheritance, so that he doesn't remember any time that he wasn't, has almost no hatred for the religious. H. L. Mencken
The verdict of a jury is the a priori opinion of that juror who smokes the worst cigars. H. L. Mencken
Balloonists have an unsurpassed view of the scenery, but there is always the possibility that it may collide with them. H. L. Mencken
Pastor: One employed by the wicked to prove to them by his example that virtue doesn't pay. H. L. Mencken
The way to deal with superstition is not to be polite to it, but to tackle it with all arms, and so rout it, cripple it, and make it forever infamous and ridiculous. H. L. Mencken