Jarod Kintz Sayings and Quotes
Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old jarod kintz quotes, jarod kintz sayings, and jarod kintz proverbs, collected over the years from a variety of sources.
“
I have a tongue like a rose petal, and when I say I love you, it has the fragrance of truth. My words are my garden, and I'm planting our future
“
You gotta run more than your mouth to escape the treadmill of mediocrity. A true hustler jogs during the day, and sleepwalks at night.
“
When congratulations are in order, I like to wait until they're out of order to offer a high five or enthusiastic pat on the back.
“
Mondays are mundane, like Tuesdays minus 24 hours.
“
From the ages of 8-18, me and my family moved around a lot. Mostly we would just stretch, but occasionally one of us would actually get up to go to the fridge.
“
I bought two items to get a third free, and then I returned the two. I should be Shopper of the Year.
“
My love is expansive. Your love is expensive.
“
If loving someone is putting them in a straitjacket and kicking them down a flight of stairs, then yes, I have loved a few people.
“
To love someone as much as you love yourself, that is the ideal. Especially if that someone is your clone.
“
If loving someone is putting them in a straitjacket and kicking them down a flight of stairs, then yes, I have loved a few people.
“
You could empty the trash and my love for you still wouldn't fit inside. But just because it won't fit, doesn't mean you shouldn't empty the trash.
“
Courage is a vitamin best swallowed with whiskey.
“
I poured a compass into my coffee, to give the flavor some direction.
“
The ability to gauge intelligence is itself a form of intelligence. Monkeys don't ponder how smart monkeys are. Ditto for politicians.
“
Doors open up for you when you work hard. Doors also open up for you when you walk with a limp and act gimpy.
“
Every politician has a promising career. Unfortunately, most of them do not keep those promises.
“
I wish my stove came with a Save As button like Word has. That way I could experiment with my cooking and not fear ruining my dinner.
“
Courage is a vitamin best swallowed with whiskey.
“
Things aren't often what they appear to be at first blush. But embarrassment is.
“
Every politician has a promising career. Unfortunately, most of them do not keep those promises.
“
At first sign of crisis, the ignorant don't panic because they don't know what's going on, and then later they panic precisely because they don't know what's going on.
“
The most deadly combination known to man is low IQ and high testosterone.
“
Too much nudity is a turn off. Especially if all that flesh is on one person.
“
Gather the wheelchairs in a circle, and then summon the cripples. Would anybody care for a glass of discrimination
“
Faith: a device of the mind, fed by the soul, that functions like crutches to a man in a wheelchair.
“
In the lobby of every business incubator there needs to be a bathtub, to get the ideas flowing. But to make it functional, it needs to be used as a fish tank.
“
You gotta run more than your mouth to escape the treadmill of mediocrity. A true hustler jogs during the day, and sleepwalks at night.
“
A string of burglaries is a crime necklace. Everything I have can be stolen except love, because I give it all away.
“
The cool thing about unemployment is every day is Saturday.
“
Hungry and thirsty? Soup solves both problems at once.