Mark Twain Sayings and Quotes

Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old Mark Twain quotes, Mark Twain sayings, and Mark Twain proverbs, collected over the years from a variety of sources.'

It has always been my rule never to smoke when asleep, and never to refrain when awake. Mark Twain
No one can tell me what is a good cigar for me. I am the only judge. People who claim to know say that I smoke the worst cigars in the world. They bring their own cigars when they come to my house. Mark Twain
Eating and sleeping are the only activities that should be allowed to interrupt a man's enjoyment of his cigar. Mark Twain
I have made it a rule never to smoke more than one cigar at a time. I have no other restriction as regards smoking. Mark Twain
The man who is ostentatious of his modesty is twin to the statue that wears a fig-leaf. Mark Twain
To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing. Mark Twain
The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin. Mark Twain
Arguments have no chance against petrified training; they wear it as little as the waves wear a cliff. Mark Twain
I can always tell which is the front end of a horse, but beyond that my art is not above the ordinary. Mark Twain
Dance like nobody's looking. Mark Twain
To get the full value of joy you must have someone to divide it with. Mark Twain
Prosperity is the best protector of principle. Mark Twain
Prosperity is the surest breeder of insolence I know. Mark Twain
Always do what is right. It will gratify half of mankind and astound the other. Mark Twain
An American has not seen the United States until he has seen Mardi Gras in New Orleans. Mark Twain
Thunder is good, thunder is impressive; but it is lightning that does all the work. Mark Twain
God only exhibits his thunder and lightning at intervals, and so they always command attention. Mark Twain
Thunder is good, thunder is impressive; but it is lightning that does the work. Mark Twain
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. Mark Twain
It is better to take what does not belong to you than to let it lie around neglected. Mark Twain
The most outrageous lies that can be invented will find believers if a person only tells them with all his might. Mark Twain
In the beginning of a change the patriot is a scarce man, and brave, and hated and scorned. When his cause succeeds, the timid join him, for then it costs nothing to be a patriot. Mark Twain
Loyalty to country always. Loyalty to government, when it deserves it. Mark Twain
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about. Mark Twain
Continuous improvement is better than delayed perfection. Mark Twain
An open mind leaves a chance for someone to drop a worthwhile thought in it. Mark Twain
The finest clothing made is a person's skin, but, of course, society demands something more than this.. Mark Twain
You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus. Mark Twain
A railroad is like a lie you have to keep building to it to make it stand. Mark Twain
When one has tasted watermelon, he knows what the angels eat. Mark Twain