Mark Twain Sayings and Quotes

Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old Mark Twain quotes, Mark Twain sayings, and Mark Twain proverbs, collected over the years from a variety of sources.'

We despise no source that can pay us a pleasing attention. Mark Twain
All you need in this life and confidence, and then success is sure. Mark Twain
I have a prodigious quantity of mind; it takes me as much as a week sometimes to make it up. Mark Twain
In Paris they simply stared when I spoke to them in French I never did succeed in making them understand their language. Mark Twain
They have three Sundays a week in Tangier. The Muhammadans' comes on Friday, the Jews on Saturday, and that of the Christian Consuls on Sunday. Mark Twain
In our country, we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either. Mark Twain
We have the best government that money can buy. Mark Twain
Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen. Mark Twain
Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone, you may still exist, but you have ceased to live. Mark Twain
To get the full value of joy you must have someone to divide it with. Mark Twain
When angry, count four; when very angry, swear. Mark Twain
When angry, count four; when very angry, swear. Mark Twain
All you need in this life ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure. Mark Twain
It's always been my rule never to smoke when asleep and never to refrain when awake. Mark Twain
Do not offer a compliment and ask a favor at the same time. A compliment that is charged for is not valuable. Mark Twain
The people stared at us everywhere, and we stare at them. We bore down on them with America's greatness until we crushed them. Mark Twain
We picked up one excellent word—a word worth travelling to New Orleans to get; a nice limber, expressive handy word—'Lagniappe.' They pronounce it lanny-yap. . . . It is the equivalent of the thirteenth roll in a 'baker's dozen.' It is something thrown in, gratis, for good measure. Mark Twain
It has been said that a Scotchman has not seen the world until he has seen Edinburgh; and I think that I may say that an American has not seen the United States until he has seen Mardi Gras in New Orleans. Mark Twain
There is no architecture in New Orleans except in the cemeteries. Mark Twain
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bit you. That is the principal difference between a dog and a man. Mark Twain
Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Mark Twain
That is just the way with some people. They get down on a thing when they don’t know nothing about it. Mark Twain
The very ink with which history is written is merely fluid prejudice. Mark Twain
Love is a madness; if thwarted it develops fast. Mark Twain
Nothing has been left undone, either by man or nature, to make India the most extraordinary country that the sun visits on his rounds. Mark Twain
India is the cradle of the human race, the birthplace of human speech, the mother of history, the grandmother of legend, and the great grandmother of tradition. Our most valuable and most artistic materials in the history of man are treasured up in India only! Mark Twain
He has made a graveyard of the globe in trying his honest best to smooth his brother's path to happiness and heaven. Mark Twain
The man who does not read books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them. Mark Twain
The difference between a Miracle and a Fact is exactly the difference between a mermaid and a seal. Mark Twain
Truth is the most valuable thing we have. Let us economize it. Mark Twain