Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous
old Rita Rudner quotes, Rita Rudner sayings, and Rita Rudner proverbs, collected over the years from a variety
of sources.'
Life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside.Rita Rudner
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To attract men, I wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior.'Rita Rudner
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It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.Rita Rudner
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Husband: a man who buys his football tickets four months in advance and waits until the day before his anniversary to buy his wife a gift.Rita Rudner
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My husband gave me a necklace. It’s fake. I requested fake. Maybe I’m paranoid, but in this day and age, I don’t want something around my neck that’s worth more than my head.Rita Rudner
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I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.Rita Rudner
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My parents, my whole life, combined my birthday with Christmas, and you know how frustrating that is for a child--especially as I was born in July.Rita Rudner
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I don't plan to grow old gracefully. I plan to have face-lifts until my ears meet.Rita Rudner
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I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage – they’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.Rita Rudner
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I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.Rita Rudner
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Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother’s tasted better the day before.Rita Rudner
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I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself "well, that's not going to happen.Rita Rudner
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I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.Rita Rudner
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It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.Rita Rudner
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I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes if I see a really great outfit, I'll break up with someone on purpose. Rita Rudner
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My husband and I are are going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives.Rita Rudner
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When I was a kid, I had two friends, and they were imaginary and they would only play with each other.Rita Rudner
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The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down.Rita Rudner
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To attract men, I wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior.'Rita Rudner
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It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. Rita Rudner
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Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage-they've experienced pain and bought jewelryRita Rudner
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My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives.Rita Rudner
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Men like to barbecue. Men like to cook only if danger is involved.Rita Rudner
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I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.Rita Rudner
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If you never want to see a man again, just tell him 'I love you. I want to marry you. I want to have children.' They leave skid marks.Rita Rudner
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Men hate to lose. I beat my husband once at tennis. I asked him, 'Will we ever make love again?' He said, 'Yes...but not with each other.'Rita Rudner
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In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.Rita Rudner
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My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.Rita Rudner
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Whenever I date a guy, I think, is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?Rita Rudner
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Other dogs look at French Poodles and wonder if they are members of some strange religious cult. Rita Rudner