Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous
old Ambrose Bierce quotes, Ambrose Bierce sayings, and Ambrose Bierce proverbs, collected over the years from a variety
of sources.'
Acquaintance is a degree of friendship called slight when its object is poor and obscure, and intimate when he is rich and famous.Ambrose Bierce
0
Distress: A disease incurred by exposure to the prosperity of a friend.Ambrose Bierce
0
TAIL, n. The part of an animal's spine that has transcended its natural limitations to set up an independent existence in a world of its own.Ambrose Bierce
0
Friendless. Having no favors to bestow. Destitute of fortune. Addicted to utterance of truth and common sense.Ambrose Bierce
0
Academe, n.: An ancient school where morality and philosophy were taught. Academy, n.: A modern school where football is taught.Ambrose Bierce
0
Love, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage.Ambrose Bierce
0
Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.Ambrose Bierce
0
With brains and honesty, some five and twenty long years as champion of all that's good.Ambrose Bierce
0
That gold refines not, sweetens not a life of conjugal brutality and strife, that vice is vulgar though it gilded shine.Ambrose Bierce
0
That gold refines not, sweetens not a life of conjugal brutality and strife, that vice is vulgar though it gilded shine.Ambrose Bierce
0
With brains and honesty, some five and twenty long years as champion of all that's good.Ambrose Bierce
0
Cemetery, n. an isolated suburban spot where mourners match lies, poets write at a target and stone cutters spell for a wager.Ambrose Bierce
0
At pomp and fuss-and-feathers while you jeer, Each member of your order tries to graft A peacock's tail upon his barren rear,Ambrose Bierce
0
Success is the one unpardonable sin against our fellow.Ambrose Bierce
0
The summer squash promoted. Harvested the sweet potato.Ambrose Bierce
0
Circus a place where horses, ponies and elephants are permitted to see men, women and children acting the fool.Ambrose Bierce
0
Polite, adj. Skilled in the art and practice of dissimulation.Ambrose Bierce
0
Still must our ears without redress submit / To hear you play the solemn hypocrite / Walking in spirit some high moral level, / Raising at once his eye-balls and the devil?Ambrose Bierce
0
Fidelity - a virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.Ambrose Bierce
0
Brain: an apparatus with which we think we think.Ambrose Bierce
0
Sabbath - a weekly festival having its origin in the fact that God made the world in six days and was arrested on the seventh.Ambrose Bierce
0
Monday, n. In Christian countries, the day after the baseball game. Ambrose Bierce
1
Dentist: a prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth, pulls coin out of your pocket.Ambrose Bierce
0
Opportunity is a favorable occasion for grasping a disappointment.Ambrose Bierce
0
The power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.Ambrose Bierce
0
If life were not worth having,' said the preacher, / 'T would have in suicide one pleasant feature.' / 'An error,' said the pessimist, 'you're making: / What's not worth having cannot be worth taking.Ambrose Bierce
0
Marriage: A master, a mistress and two slaves, making in all, two.Ambrose Bierce
0
Love is a temporary insanity curable by marriage.Ambrose Bierce
0
The fallen soldier (the word “hero” appears to be a later invention) has such humble honors as it is possible to give. His part in all the pomp that fills The circuit of the Summer hills Is that his grave is green. True, more than a half of the green graves in the Grafton cemetery are marked unknown, and sometimes it occurs that one thinks of the contradiction involved in honoring the memory of whom no memory remains to honor, but the attempt seems to do no great harm to the living, even to the logical.Ambrose Bierce
0
The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.Ambrose Bierce
Log in with Google 
Log in with Facebook 
