Dorothy Parker Sayings and Quotes

Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old Dorothy Parker quotes, Dorothy Parker sayings, and Dorothy Parker proverbs, collected over the years from a variety of sources.

If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to. Dorothy Parker
Razors pain you; rivers are damp; acids stain you; and drugs cause cramp. Guns aren't lawful; nooses give; gas smells awful; you might as well live. Dorothy Parker
Lips that taste of tears, they say, Are the best for kissing. Dorothy Parker
The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity. Dorothy Parker
Time wounds all heels. Dorothy Parker
Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch it, and it darts away. Dorothy Parker
They sicken of the calm who know the storm. Dorothy Parker
I love to drink martinis. Two at the very most. Three I'm under the table. Four I'm under my host. Dorothy Parker
Most good women are hidden treasures who are only safe because nobody looks for them. Dorothy Parker
The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity. Dorothy Parker
The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant, and let the air out of the tires. Dorothy Parker
What ever beauty may be it has for its basis order and for its essence unity Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone. Dorothy Parker
My land is bare of chattering folk; the clouds are low along the ridges, and sweet's the air with curly smoke from all my burning bridges. Dorothy Parker
Friends come and go but I wouldn't have thought you'd be one of them. Dorothy Parker
Los Angeles is 72 suburbs in search of a city. Dorothy Parker
It's not the tragedies that kill us, it's the messes. Dorothy Parker
The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant, and let the air out of the tires. Dorothy Parker
The best way to avoid a hangover is to stay drunk. Dorothy Parker
A hangover is the wrath of grapes. Dorothy Parker
Brevity is the soul of lingerie. Dorothy Parker
Those who have mastered etiquette, who are entirely, impeccably right, would seem to arrive at a point of exquisite dullness. Dorothy Parker
Heterosexuality is not normal, it's just common. Dorothy Parker
Wit has truth in it; wise-cracking is simply calisthenics with words. Dorothy Parker
Money cannot buy health, but I'd settle for a diamond-studded wheelchair. Dorothy Parker
The best way to keep children at home is to make the home a pleasant atmosphere and let the air out of the tires. Dorothy Parker
I shudder at the thought of men.... I'm due to fall in love again Dorothy Parker
Never throw mud: you can miss the target, but your hands will remain dirty. Dorothy Parker
Should they whisper false of you, Never trouble to deny; Should the words they say be true, Weep and storm and say they lie. Dorothy Parker
I don't know much about being a millionaire, but I'll bet I'd be darling at it. Dorothy Parker
Salary is no object: I want only enough to keep body and soul apart. Dorothy Parker