Garrison Keillor Sayings and Quotes

Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old Garrison Keillor quotes, Garrison Keillor sayings, and Garrison Keillor proverbs, collected over the years from a variety of sources.'

The rich can afford to be progressive. Poor people have reason to be afraid of the future. Garrison Keillor
When you're a little kid, your heart is open and tender and a harsh word can go straight in and become part of your life. Garrison Keillor
It's a shallow life that doesn't give a person a few scars. Garrison Keillor
The mass of men lead lives of shallow happiness; the superior man exults in his gloom Garrison Keillor
Love has the power to rescue us and not let go, otherwise it isn't love Garrison Keillor
It was luxuries like air conditioning that brought down the Roman Empire. With air conditioning their windows were shut, they couldn't hear the barbarians coming. Garrison Keillor
I love rhymes; I love to write a poem about New York and rhyme 'oysters' with 'The Cloisters.' And 'The lady from Knoxville who bought her brassieres by the box full.' I just feel a sort of small triumph. Garrison Keillor
Beauty isn't worth thinking about. What's important is your mind. You don't want a fifty dollar haircut on a fifty cent head. Garrison Keillor
To all teachers— past, present, and future. Yours is the greatest profession! Thanks be to God for the teachers of the world. Garrison Keillor
Be well, do good work, and keep in touch. Garrison Keillor
...when his daughter puts her arm over his shoulders and says,'Daddy , I need to ask you something,' he is a pat of butter in a hot frying pan. Garrison Keillor
...when his daughter puts her arm over his shoulders and says,'Daddy , I need to ask you something,' he is a pat of butter in a hot frying pan. Garrison Keillor
Nothing you do for children is ever wasted. Garrison Keillor
A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. Garrison Keillor
The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out his nose. Garrison Keillor
The reason to retire is to try to avoid embarrassment; you ought to do it before people are dropping big hints. You want to be the first to come up with the idea. You don't want to wait until you trip and fall off the stage. Garrison Keillor
They say such nice things about people at funerals that it makes me sad to realize that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days. Garrison Keillor
A book is a gift you can open again and again. Garrison Keillor
The father of a daughter is nothing but a high-class hostage. A father turns a stony face to his sons, berates them, shakes his antlers, paws the ground, snorts, runs them off into the underbrush, but when her daughter puts her arm over his shoulder and says,' Daddy, I need to ask you something,' he is a pat of butter in a hot frying pan. Garrison Keillor