Groucho Marx Sayings and Quotes

Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old Groucho Marx quotes, Groucho Marx sayings, and Groucho Marx proverbs, collected over the years from a variety of sources.'

All geniuses die young. Groucho Marx
She's afraid that if she leaves, she'll become the life of the party Groucho Marx
No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early. Groucho Marx
Given the choice between a woman and a cigar, I will always choose the cigar. Groucho Marx
I love my cigar too, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while. Groucho Marx
A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke. Groucho Marx
You're a great brother. You give us a heart attack worrying about your heart attack, which you didn't even have the decency to have. Groucho Marx
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book. Groucho Marx
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies. Groucho Marx
A clown is like aspirin, only he works twice as fast Groucho Marx
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. Groucho Marx
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana. Groucho Marx
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. Groucho Marx
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies. Groucho Marx
You're heading for a breakdown. Why don't you pull yourself to pieces. Groucho Marx
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book. Groucho Marx
She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon. Groucho Marx
A clown is like aspirin, only he works twice as fast. Groucho Marx
In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom. Groucho Marx
In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom. Groucho Marx
Comedians are a much rarer and far more valuable commodity than all the gold and precious stones in the world. Groucho Marx
A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere. Groucho Marx
The Arab and the camel are inseparable. It's been said that an Arab would give up his wife rather than give up his camel. Personally, I haven't got a camel, but I think it's a great idea. Groucho Marx
John, you say you met in an elevator. Was the elevator going up at the time, or down? This is very important, for going down in an elevator one always has that sinking feeling and for all I know you may have this confused with love. If you were going up, it is clearly a case of love at first sight. Groucho Marx
In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom. Groucho Marx
Poverty makes people sub-human Excess of wealth makes people inhuman Groucho Marx
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana. Groucho Marx
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. Groucho Marx
Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere. Groucho Marx
I intend to live forever, or die trying. Groucho Marx