Vodka Sayings and Quotes

Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old vodka quotes, vodka sayings, and vodka proverbs, collected over the years from a variety of sources.

There's no absolutes in life, only vodka.     

Mick Jagger

Vodka is a very deceptive drink. You can't taste it, you can't smell it.     

Dylan Moran

Once we hit forty, women only have about four taste buds left: one for vodka, one for wine, one for cheese, and one for chocolate.     

Gina Barreca

Vodka is tasteless going down, but it is memorable coming up.     

Garrison Keillor

They say milk gives u strength. Drink three glasses and try moving a wall. You can't. Drink three shots of vodka and it moves all by itself.     


If wine is fruit, then vodka must be a vegetable.     

Jann Arden

We drank our coffee the Russian way. That is to say we had vodka before it and vodka afterwards.     

Philip Sington

Vodka is like water, but with consequences.     

Tom Rachman

The key factor in the vodka category is smoothness, and smoothness is what our vodka has.     

Fuzzy Zoeller

Vodka does not ease back pain. But it does get your mind off it.     

Fuzzy Zoeller

Vodka is a wonderful drink. You can drink so much of it without being as hung over as you would if you were drinking one of the brown liquors the whiskeys and such. It's a great drink to go with appetizers.     

Gary Shteyngart

Vodka eyeballing sounds great, but it's a slippery slope. Next, you'll be scotch nostriling, tequila nippling and, before you know it, Jager tainting.     

Stephen Colbert

The relationship between a Russian and a bottle of vodka is almost mystical.     

Richard Owen

Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.     

Samuel Johnson

He buys his roast beef, I buy my bottle of vodka. We get along real good.     

Yogi Berra

When that first martini hits the liver like a silver bullet, there is a sigh of contentment that can be heard in Dubuque.     

William Emerson. Jr.

I don't drink liquor. I don’t like it. It makes me feel good.     

Oscar Levant

It is all nonsense about not being able to work without ale, and gin, and cider, and fermented liquors. Do lions and carthorses drink ale?     

Rev. Sydney Smith

If you were to ask me if I'd ever had the bad luck to miss my daily cocktail. I'd have to say that I doubt it; where certain things are concerned, I plan ahead.     

Luis Bunuel

I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.     

Winston Churchill

When I was younger I made it a rule never to take a strong drink before lunch. Now it is my rule never to do so before breakfast.     

Winston Churchill

I drink too much. Last time I gave a urine sample there was an olive in it.     

Rodney Dangerfield

Malt does more than Milton can, / To justify God's ways to man.     

A.E. Housman

The sway of alcohol over mankind is unquestionably due to its power to stimulate the mystical faculties of human nature, usually crushed to earth by the cold facts and dry criticisms of the sober hour. Sobriety' diminishes, discriminates, and says no; drunkenness expands, unites and says yes.     

William James

By the time a bartender knows what drink a man will have before he orders, there is little else about him worth knowing.     

Don Marquis

We cannot move around large quantities of necessary fluids without spilling them occasionally. Those of us who drink have proven this by experimental method.      

P.J. O’Rourke

Yes, God is in the details, hut at some point even God says, 'Enough, let’s go have a cocktail!'     

Eno Putain

A medium Vodka dry Martini — with a slice of lemon peel. Shaken and not stirred.     

Ian Fleming

Vodka is the only thing that makes potatoes palatable, and without vodka, Russia would have won the Cold War. The word itself comes from the Slavic term for 'water,' or 'voda.' Somehow the 'k' sound gives it more of a kick, doncha think?     

Steven Kates

You say potato, I say vodka.     

Karen Walker