Vodka Sayings and Quotes

Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old vodka quotes, vodka sayings, and vodka proverbs, collected over the years from a variety of sources.

Clear as water and calorie-free too, / it’s the elixir that helps so many get through. / Life can be hard and vodka is reliable, / the versatility of this liquor is quite undeniable.     

Zofia Antonow

My research shows that vodka makes great martinis, caesars, sno-cones and life choices.     

Trevor Haviland

Vodka is like a warm hug for your throat.     

Siya Resego

Vodka is like a drunken uncle who tells the most intriguing stories [with] perfect delivery, yet kicks you in the nuts every time he's done.     

James Wilbur

Isn't it weird that vodka and water look the same . . . but man are they different.     

Steve Stiffler

Red Bull and Vodka. Because you want to be wide awake for this mistake.     

Troy Johnson

Vodka tastes like something you shouldn't put in your body.     

Babs Bouchillon

They're professionals at this in Russia, so no matter how many Jell-O shots or Jager shooters you might have downed at college mixers, no matter how good a drinker you might think you are, don't forget that the Russians - any Russian - can drink you under the table.     

Anthony Bourdain

After a cigar or a glass of vodka you are no longer Peter Sorin, but Peter Sorin plus somebody else. Your ego breaks in two: you begin to think of yourself in the third person.     

Anton Chekhov

As the Siberian saying goes: One hundred versts (roughly a hundred miles) is no distance. A hundred rubles isn't worthwhile money. And a hundred grams of vodka just makes you thirsty.     

Farley Mowat

Extra-dirty vodka Martinis - they're so easy to drink! I should really just drink olive juice; it'd be safer.     

Cecily Strong

Vodka does not ease back pain. But it does get your mind off it.     

Fuzzy Zoeller

I no longer know If I wish to drown myself in love, vodka or the sea.     

Franz Kafka

Take a shot of vodka and hope for the best.     

Nathan Lane

Once we hit forty, women only have about four taste buds left: one for vodka, one for wine, one for cheese, and one for chocolate.     

Gina Barreca

If wine is fruit, then vodka must be a vegetable.     

Jann Arden

Vodka is kind of a hobby.     

Betty White

Little more vodka with a little less soda / Knows it ain't right, just for tonight / It's gonna be her way of dealing / She has mixed feelings about her drinking     

Mitchell Tenpenny; Jordan Walker (Walker McGuire); Andrew Albert

I lost her eyes to a whole bunch of Pena Coladas / After a few margaritas I took all the blame / For drinking Manhattans at three in the morning I lost her / Between the vodka and gin and the beer and champagne     

David Allan Coe

I lost a bet that our love would last forever / Sloe gin and tonic was making my heart hard to find / With two bloody Mary's I ran out of vodka this morning / Losing my chances of drinking her off of my mind     

David Allan Coe

I even stoop to an icy vodka / As I feel the inevitable / battle creep nearer and nearer / Chip! Chip! / Arms control poseur     

C. Scanlon; Mark E Smith; S. Wolstencroft

He drinks a Whiskey drink, he drinks a Vodka drink / He drinks a Lager drink, he drinks a Cider drink / He sings the songs that remind him of the good times / He sings the songs that remind him of the best times     

Judith Abbott; Nigel Hunter; Paul Greco; Louise Watts; Alice Nutter; Darren Hamer