Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous
old Phyllis Diller quotes, Phyllis Diller sayings, and Phyllis Diller proverbs, collected over the years from a variety
of sources.'
Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.Phyllis Diller
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Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing.Phyllis Diller
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Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing.Phyllis Diller
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Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?Phyllis Diller
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Housework won't kill you, but then again, why take the chance?Phyllis Diller
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Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing.Phyllis Diller
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If your house is really a mess and a stranger comes to the door greet him with, 'Who could have done this? We have no enemies!Phyllis Diller
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The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron. Phyllis Diller
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The best contraceptive for old people is nudity.Phyllis Diller
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My recipe for dealing with anger and frustration: set the kitchen timer for twenty minutes, cry, rant, and rave, and at the sound of the bell, simmer down and go about business as usual.Phyllis Diller
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Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fightPhyllis Diller
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All mothers are working mothers.Phyllis Diller
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A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake oncePhyllis Diller
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Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.Phyllis Diller
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A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.Phyllis Diller
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If you don't have wrinkles, you haven't laughed enough.Phyllis Diller
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All mothers are working mothers.Phyllis Diller
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Your husband drinks too much if he says he never drinks alone, but considers the goldfish somebody. Phyllis Diller
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Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing.Phyllis Diller
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Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.Phyllis Diller
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Whatever you look like, marry a man your own age; As your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.Phyllis Diller
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I don't know how you feel about old age, but in my case I didn't even see it coming. It hit me from the rear.Phyllis Diller
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I'm at the age when my back goes out more than I do.Phyllis Diller
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It took me three weeks to stuff the turkey. I stuffed it through its beak.Phyllis Diller
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Anytime three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has just been robbed.Phyllis Diller
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It's an ill will that blows when you leave the hairdresser.Phyllis Diller
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We went all out with new things for our first child and the second one had nothing but hand-me-downs. The bronzed baby shoes almost killed him.Phyllis Diller
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Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.Phyllis Diller
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The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron.Phyllis Diller
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It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge.Phyllis Diller