Phyllis Diller Sayings and Quotes

Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old Phyllis Diller quotes, Phyllis Diller sayings, and Phyllis Diller proverbs, collected over the years from a variety of sources.'

Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered. Phyllis Diller
I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them. Phyllis Diller
We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up. Phyllis Diller
I don't know how you feel about old age, but in my case, I didn't see it coming. It hit me in the rear. Phyllis Diller
We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up. Phyllis Diller
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight. Phyllis Diller
My recipe for dealing with anger and frustration: Set the kitchen timer for 20 minutes, cry, rant, and rave, and at the sound of the bell, simmer down and go about business as usual. Phyllis Diller
My recipe for dealing with anger and frustration: Set the kitchen timer for 20 minutes, cry, rant, and rave, and at the sound of the bell, simmer down and go about business as usual. Phyllis Diller
I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them. Phyllis Diller
I should have suspected my husband was lazy. On our wedding day, his mother told me 'I'm not losing a son; I'm gaining a couch.' Phyllis Diller