Will Rogers Sayings and Quotes

Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old Will Rogers quotes, Will Rogers sayings, and Will Rogers proverbs, collected over the years from a variety of sources.'

We don't give our criminals much punishment, but we sure give 'em plenty of publicity. Will Rogers
When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car. Will Rogers
Hawaii is the only place I know where they lay flowers on you while you are alive. Will Rogers
Hawaii is the only place I know where they lay flowers on you while you are alive. Hawaii is the only place I know where they lay flowers on you while you are alive. Will Rogers
There are two things that can disrupt business in this country. One is War, and the other is a meeting of the Federal Reserve Bank. Will Rogers
There are two things that I don't care how smart you are, you will never understand. One is an alienist's testimony and the other is a railroad timetable. Will Rogers
Steak on the plate went up. Steak on the hoof went down. Will Rogers
I would rather be the man who bought the Brooklyn Bridge than the man who sold it. Will Rogers
Too many people spend money they haven't earned to buy things they don't want to impress people they don't like. Will Rogers
The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it in your back pocket. Will Rogers
Too many people spend money they earned..to buy things they don't want..to impress people that they don't like. Will Rogers
There's two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither works. Will Rogers
It's hard to tell whether there is more guns or flowers at a gangster's funeral. I would rather have the undertaker's privilege with some high-class gang, than to have a seat on the Stock Exchange. Will Rogers
Personally I have always felt that the best doctor in the world is the veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what's the matter—He's got to just know. Will Rogers
Political elections... are a good deal like marriages, there's no accounting for anyone's taste. Will Rogers
Too many people spend money they haven't earned to buy things they don't want to impress people they don't like. Will Rogers
Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there. Will Rogers
There is something about riding down the street on a prancing horse that makes you feel like something, even when you ain't a thing. Will Rogers
I don't think you can make a lawyer honest by an act of legislature. You've got to work on his conscience. And his lack of conscience is what makes him a lawyer. Will Rogers
Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable. Will Rogers
Half of our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save. Will Rogers
Eventually, you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it. Will Rogers
The schools ain't what they used to be and never was. Will Rogers
The business of government is to keep the government out of business - that is, unless business needs government aid. Will Rogers
During Prohibition, it was said tailors would ask customers what size pockets they wanted, pint or quart. Will Rogers
A holding company is the people you give your money to while you are being searched. Will Rogers
The only difference between death and taxes is death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets. Will Rogers
Common sense ain't common. Will Rogers
Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip. Will Rogers
Don’t Let Yesterday Take Up Too Much Of Today Will Rogers