George Carlin Sayings and Quotes

Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old George Carlin quotes, George Carlin sayings, and George Carlin proverbs, collected over the years from a variety of sources.

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. George Carlin
And you know, in this country now, there are a lot of people who want to expand the death penalty to include drug dealers. This is really stupid. Drug dealers aren't afraid to die. They're already killing each other every day on the streets by the hundreds; drive-bys, gang shootings. They're not afraid to die. Death penalty doesn't mean anything unless you use it on people who are afraid to die. Like... the bankers who launder the drug money. George Carlin
That's why they call it the American Dream because you have to be asleep to believe it. George Carlin