Woody Allen Sayings and Quotes

Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old Woody Allen quotes, Woody Allen sayings, and Woody Allen proverbs, collected over the years from a variety of sources.

I can't even take a leap of faith to believe in my own existence. Woody Allen
I hate the beach, I hate the sun, I'm pale and I'm a redhead. I don't tan— I stroke. Woody Allen
I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox. Woody Allen
Isn't all mankind ultimately executed for a crime it never committed? Woody Allen
I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose. Woody Allen
The study of economy usually shows us that the best time for purchase was last year. Woody Allen
There's nothing wrong with you that a little Prozac and a polo mallet can't cure. Woody Allen
A comedy, for me, has the quality of being a little dessert, a diversion...The real meat and potatoes are serious films. Woody Allen
With comedy, you can buy yourself out of the problems of life and diffuse them. In tragedy, you must confront them and it is painful. Woody Allen
Comedy films are unlike other films; What's important in a comedy is the content of the shot, not the shot itself. Woody Allen
When you do comedy, you're not sitting at the grown-up's table, you're sitting at the children's table. Woody Allen
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman? Woody Allen
On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. Woody Allen
Sentence structure is innate but whining is acquired. Woody Allen
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons. Woody Allen