Evan Esar Sayings and Quotes

Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old Evan Esar quotes, Evan Esar sayings, and Evan Esar proverbs, collected over the years from a variety of sources.

Divorce is the key that opens the strongbox where the bonds of matrimony are kept under wedlock. Evan Esar
Divorce is the price people play for playing with matches. Evan Esar
A vacation is like love: anticipated with pleasure, experienced with discomfort, and remembered with nostalgia. Evan Esar
Consistency is a jewel, but too much jewelry is vulgar. Evan Esar
The only time a lazy man ever succeeds is when he tries to do nothing. Evan Esar
The only way to cure an egotist from bragging is by surgery--amputation at the neck. Evan Esar
With a braggart, it's no sooner done than said. Evan Esar
Family: A social unit where the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space. Evan Esar
Family: A social unit where the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space. Evan Esar
Many a man who goes to Las Vegas to get away from it all soon finds that Las Vegas gets it all away from him. Evan Esar
Age brings wisdom to some men, and to others chess. Evan Esar
A laugh a day keeps the psychiatrist away. Evan Esar
We do not stop laughing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop laughing. Evan Esar
The man who doctors himself with the aid of medical books, runs the risk of dying of a typographical error. Evan Esar
You can't judge the ability of a doctor by the amount of praise the undertakers give him. Evan Esar
The quizzical expression of the monkey at the zoo comes from his wondering whether he is his brother's keeper, or his keeper's brother. Evan Esar
The best time to give advice to your children is while they're still young enough to believe you know what you're talking about. Evan Esar
The trouble with the world is that laziness is seldom curable and never fatal. Evan Esar
Zoo: An excellent lace to study the habits of human beings. Evan Esar
An obsession is an idea which you must get out of your mind if you are not to go out of your mind. Evan Esar
Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in this world that just don't add up. Evan Esar
The honeymoon is the only period when a woman isn't trying to reform her husband. Evan Esar
Communism is a form of government under which every citizen at election time enjoys the privilege of voting yes. Evan Esar
Communism is a form of society where the less people have to eat, the more they have to swallow. Evan Esar
Housework is what a woman does that nobody notices unless she hasn't done it. Evan Esar
Definition of Statistics: The science of producing unreliable facts from reliable figures. Evan Esar
Charm is to a woman what perfume is to a flower. Evan Esar
Success comes from aspiration, desperation, perspiration, and inspiration! Evan Esar
The diamond is the hardest stone -- to get. Evan Esar
In elections, the undecided vote is usually the deciding factor. Evan Esar