Evan Esar Sayings and Quotes

Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old Evan Esar quotes, Evan Esar sayings, and Evan Esar proverbs, collected over the years from a variety of sources.'

If you don't get the better of yourself, someone else will. Evan Esar
Easter is the only time when it's perfectly safe to put all your eggs in one basket. Evan Esar
Too many women think Easter Sunday is Decoration Day. Evan Esar
There are always some churchgoers whom the preacher doesn't remember from one Easter to the next. Evan Esar
Children prefer snow, but adults prefer rain because it is self shoveling. Evan Esar
The surest way to bring spring showers is to hose the lawn and sprinkle the flowers. Evan Esar
Rainy days come to those who save up for them. Evan Esar
The rains that nourish the optimist's flowers make the pessimist's weeds grow. Evan Esar
The rainy days for which a man saves usually arrive during his vacation. Evan Esar
Family: A social unit where the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space. Evan Esar
Family: A social unit where the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space. Evan Esar
To some men the only symbol of hospitality is a corkscrew. Evan Esar
The man who takes to drink when his wife leaves him should be careful not to overdo the celebration. Evan Esar
Sometimes when a man takes a day off to celebrate, he needs another day off to get over it. Evan Esar
Some people's idea of a celebration is to enjoy a Christmas they'll never forget and a New Year's they can't remember. Evan Esar
When an alcoholic wants to celebrate an occasion, does he go out and get sober. Evan Esar
Positive anything is better than negative nothing. Evan Esar
The most positive way to progress to the top is to start at the bottom and never stop. Evan Esar
The best way of getting ahead of most people is by getting along with some and getting around others. Evan Esar
More and more married women are working nowadays, some of them even at home. Evan Esar
Liar is the one who pretends to be very good or the one who pretends to be very bad. Evan Esar
A pathological liar can always be expected to tell you where the truth lies. Evan Esar
All men are liars, but some are not found out until after they are married. Evan Esar
A liar's worst misfortune is not that no one believes him, but that he can't believe anyone else. Evan Esar
If there were no listeners, there would be no liars. Evan Esar
There's only one person who can lie more brazenly than a pathological liar, and that's another pathological liar. Evan Esar
Two liars are company, three are a crowd, and four or more a chamber of commerce. Evan Esar
A clever liar gives details, but the cleverest one doesn't. Evan Esar
To a liar, truth is more a stranger than fiction. Evan Esar
The only person to whom nothing is impossible is the pathological liar. Evan Esar