Evan Esar Sayings and Quotes

Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old Evan Esar quotes, Evan Esar sayings, and Evan Esar proverbs, collected over the years from a variety of sources.

It isn't the farmer that lives on the fat of the land; it's the fat of the land that lives on the farmer. Evan Esar
The little boy who goes to the store and forgets what his mother sent him for, will probably grow up to be a congressman. Evan Esar
A clever girl always seem to know less than the man she happens to be talking to. Evan Esar
When a wife laughs at her husband's jokes, it's not because they are clever, but because she is. Evan Esar
Some women are so clever that you can't talk with them for ten minutes without beginning to realize how brilliant you are. Evan Esar
Many woman is so clever that she manages to let no one suspect her of being half as foolish as she really is. Evan Esar
It takes a clever girl to keep a man at arm's length without losing her grip on him. Evan Esar
By the time the person is old enough to know better, he thinks he's clever enough to get away with it. Evan Esar
Sometimes nothing is the cleverest thing you can say when you want to say something clever. Evan Esar
Of all the clever wives, the cleverest is the one who never lets her husband suspect how clever she is. Evan Esar
A clever girl flatters a man by asking the kind of questions he is able to answer. Evan Esar
Every executive wishes he were as clever as he thinks his secretary thinks he is. Evan Esar
There's a substitute for everything, but no one yet figured out a substitute for hard work. Evan Esar
The longer a wedding ring is worn, the harder it is to remove. Evan Esar
When a young man gives his girl a ring, he gives it with all his heart and most of his savings. Evan Esar
Opportunity knocks for every man, but a woman gets a ring. Evan Esar
During courtship a girl is unpredictable until she gets an engagement ring - then she shows her hand. Evan Esar
The bright sparkle of a diamond ring often renders a woman stone-blind to the defects of the man who gives it. Evan Esar
A wedding ring may not be as tight as a tourniquet, but it stops the wearer's circulation. Evan Esar
Some girls get rings with large diamonds, others get rings that look as if they were all paid for. Evan Esar
A ring on the finger is worth two on the phone. Evan Esar
An engagement ring is a piece of jewelry that usually turns a right-handed girl into a left handed one. Evan Esar
To the bachelor, a wedding ring symbolizes a vicious cycle. Evan Esar
A girl uses soft soap to get a ring off her finger - and also to get one on. Evan Esar
Most of us are either too thin to enjoy eating. or too fat to enjoy walking. Evan Esar
If you want to get fat, don't eat fast; if you want to get thin. don't eat fast. Evan Esar
No wonder a father has mixed feelings when his son goes off to college; while he loses a son, he gains a car. Evan Esar
A wedding is a ceremony at which a woman acquires another mind of her own. Evan Esar
A wedding takes only a few hours, but the arguments go on forever. Evan Esar
The only wedding that is sure to go off without a hitch is where the groom doesn't show up. Evan Esar