Evan Esar Sayings and Quotes

Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old Evan Esar quotes, Evan Esar sayings, and Evan Esar proverbs, collected over the years from a variety of sources.'

Many a man who is drunk prefers to drive because he feels he is in no condition to walk. Evan Esar
People who insist on drinking before driving are putting the quart before the hearse. Evan Esar
Most of those who are driven to drink, make the trip in the driver's seat. Evan Esar
The one for the road may be two for the cemetery. Evan Esar
There's only one thing worse than being driven to drink, and that's driving yourself home from it. Evan Esar
No man is half as intelligent as he wants some woman to think he is. Evan Esar
The less intelligence you claim, the more intelligence people will give you credit for. Evan Esar
When you hire people who are smarter than you are, you prove you are smarter than they are. Evan Esar
A man's intelligence is seldom questioned as long as he can keep his tongue from trying to prove it. Evan Esar
Corn is something discovered by Indians, distributed by farmers, distilled by moonshiners, and dispensed by comedians. Evan Esar
The best place to have a com is on the bottom of your foot: nobody can step on it but you. Evan Esar
Corn is estimated out West by the foot, down South by the gallon, and on television by the hour. Evan Esar
A corn on the ear is worth two on the foot. Evan Esar
In Kentucky the com is full of kernels, and the colonels are full of corn. Evan Esar
The cure love is marriage, and the cure for marriage is love again. Evan Esar
A silver wedding is the day on which a married man celebrates twenty-five years of work under the same boss. Evan Esar
Another man who doesn't bear a grudge is the husband who forgets his wedding anniversary. Evan Esar
A golden wedding anniversary is lots of fun and laughter, created in part by the original wedding pictures. Evan Esar
The man who never forgets his wedding anniversary is probably a bachelor. Evan Esar
Before marriage, she tells him where to take her; after marriage, she tells him where to go. Evan Esar
Easter is the only time when it’s perfectly safe to put all of your eggs in one basket. Evan Esar
Being a bachelor has its disadvantages: for one thing , he has to get up very early to make the money to stay up very late. Evan Esar
Appointment are a waste of time because being early wastes yours and being late wastes the other person's. Evan Esar
An astronaut is a man chosen to travel in outer space because he can be trusted to keep his feet on the ground. Evan Esar
Space travel is the only way now known to man of leaving this world without dying. Evan Esar
The only way to pass motorists at a safe distance is to travel by air. Evan Esar
Argumentative people have one thing in common: they are always ready to dispute an indisputable fact. Evan Esar
An argument always leaves each party convinced that the other has a closed mind. Evan Esar
The less sound a man's argument, the louder he talks. Evan Esar
Cheat me once, you ought to be ashamed; cheat me twice, I ought to be ashamed. Evan Esar