Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous
old Evan Esar quotes, Evan Esar sayings, and Evan Esar proverbs, collected over the years from a variety
of sources.'
If at first you're not believed, lie, lie again.Evan Esar
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Children learn to lie from parents who teach them to say they don't want a second portion of ice cream.Evan Esar
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Some people have a habit of lying, while others do very well without the habit.Evan Esar
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The punishment of the misanthrope is that he is forced to live in a world full of people.Evan Esar
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There is always one person whom a misanthrope doesn't hate.Evan Esar
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A misanthrope believes that there are only two kinds of good people: the dead and the unborn.Evan Esar
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To the misanthrope all men are equal--equally bad.Evan Esar
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All misanthropes are alike in their dislike of people.Evan Esar
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April showers bring may flowers. Also headaches to mother from kids indoors for hours.Evan Esar
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A shower isn't the only place where if you make one wrong turn you find yourself in hot water .Evan Esar
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It is the day after the holiday when a holiday is most needed.Evan Esar
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The man who looks half dead should take a holiday, or has.Evan Esar
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After the Christmas holidays most of us are way behind on our bills, but way ahead on our calories.Evan Esar
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How wonderful holidays would be if there wasn't the day after.Evan Esar
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Memorial Day is a day set aside to decorate old graves of soldiers and to dig new ones for reckless drivers.Evan Esar
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You can always make a loan at a bank if you can show sufficient evidence that you don't need it.Evan Esar
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Space is being conquered by man while man is being conquered by time.Evan Esar
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An astronaut is a man chosen to travel in outer space because he can be trusted to keep his feet on the ground.Evan Esar
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Space travel is the only way now known to man of leaving this world without dying.Evan Esar
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The only way to pass motorists at a safe distance is to travel by air.Evan Esar
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A vacation sometimes begins with your needing a rest, but more often ends that way.Evan Esar
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Intuition is what enables a wife who knows less than her husband, to understand more.Evan Esar
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Feminine intuition operates more on the instant than on the instinct.Evan Esar
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A woman's intuition may not be scientific but it's the best of all lie detectors.Evan Esar
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In some women, intuition is like a sixth sense; in other, a sick sense.Evan Esar
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An ounce of intuition is worth a pound of tuition.Evan Esar
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As ye sew, so shall ye rip.Evan Esar
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If you can't find the right button, sew up the buttonhole.Evan Esar
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Reading is like permitting a man who sits in a train facing back to talk a long time.Evan Esar
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A lazy schoolboy lets his father do his homework, but a bright one helps his father with it.Evan Esar