Evan Esar Sayings and Quotes

Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old Evan Esar quotes, Evan Esar sayings, and Evan Esar proverbs, collected over the years from a variety of sources.'

If at first you're not believed, lie, lie again. Evan Esar
Children learn to lie from parents who teach them to say they don't want a second portion of ice cream. Evan Esar
Some people have a habit of lying, while others do very well without the habit. Evan Esar
The punishment of the misanthrope is that he is forced to live in a world full of people. Evan Esar
There is always one person whom a misanthrope doesn't hate. Evan Esar
A misanthrope believes that there are only two kinds of good people: the dead and the unborn. Evan Esar
To the misanthrope all men are equal--equally bad. Evan Esar
All misanthropes are alike in their dislike of people. Evan Esar
April showers bring may flowers. Also headaches to mother from kids indoors for hours. Evan Esar
A shower isn't the only place where if you make one wrong turn you find yourself in hot water . Evan Esar
It is the day after the holiday when a holiday is most needed. Evan Esar
The man who looks half dead should take a holiday, or has. Evan Esar
After the Christmas holidays most of us are way behind on our bills, but way ahead on our calories. Evan Esar
How wonderful holidays would be if there wasn't the day after. Evan Esar
Memorial Day is a day set aside to decorate old graves of soldiers and to dig new ones for reckless drivers. Evan Esar
You can always make a loan at a bank if you can show sufficient evidence that you don't need it. Evan Esar
Space is being conquered by man while man is being conquered by time. Evan Esar
An astronaut is a man chosen to travel in outer space because he can be trusted to keep his feet on the ground. Evan Esar
Space travel is the only way now known to man of leaving this world without dying. Evan Esar
The only way to pass motorists at a safe distance is to travel by air. Evan Esar
A vacation sometimes begins with your needing a rest, but more often ends that way. Evan Esar
Intuition is what enables a wife who knows less than her husband, to understand more. Evan Esar
Feminine intuition operates more on the instant than on the instinct. Evan Esar
A woman's intuition may not be scientific but it's the best of all lie detectors. Evan Esar
In some women, intuition is like a sixth sense; in other, a sick sense. Evan Esar
An ounce of intuition is worth a pound of tuition. Evan Esar
As ye sew, so shall ye rip. Evan Esar
If you can't find the right button, sew up the buttonhole. Evan Esar
Reading is like permitting a man who sits in a train facing back to talk a long time. Evan Esar
A lazy schoolboy lets his father do his homework, but a bright one helps his father with it. Evan Esar