Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous
old Evan Esar quotes, Evan Esar sayings, and Evan Esar proverbs, collected over the years from a variety
of sources.'
In fishing for a man, a flirt seldom know where to draw the line.Evan Esar
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A flirt spends her time making temporary male friends, but permanent female enemies.Evan Esar
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Man is the only machine that needs to be lubricated with alcohol.Evan Esar
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Alcohol is a good preservative for almost everything but secrets.Evan Esar
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Man has been exhorted to love his enemies, but so far alcohol is the only enemy he has learned to love.Evan Esar
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Alcohol is like success; both are all right until they go to your head.Evan Esar
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What every drunk needs is to get more blood into his alcohol stream.Evan Esar
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Brains are not a handicap to a girl because a smart girl knows enough to hide them behind a low neckline.Evan Esar
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A tomboy is a girl who misbehaves like a boy.Evan Esar
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Every man is a little boy at heart, and every girl is a woman.Evan Esar
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Even when a girl is as pretty as a picture, a man still likes to look at the frame.Evan Esar
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It's not easy for a beautiful girl to believe that love is blind.Evan Esar
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There's only one way to improve your memory, and that's to lengthen it.Evan Esar
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A fault-finder is a person with a bad memory who never remembers the good, or with a good memory who always remembers the bad.Evan Esar
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A memory expert remembers everything, including many things he ought to forget.Evan Esar
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Some people have wonderful memories: they can't remember what they worried about yesterday.Evan Esar
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A good way to cure a bad memory is by lending small sums to your fiends.Evan Esar
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Success is the good fortune that comes from aspiration, desperation, perspiration,and inspiration.Evan Esar
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Cheat me once, you ought to be ashamed; cheat me twice, I ought to be ashamed.Evan Esar
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Knowledge is what you get from reading the small print in a contract. Experience is what you get from not reading it.Evan Esar
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By the time you learn that you should always read the fine print, your eyes can no longer see it.Evan Esar
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Remember, in every lease the big print giveth and the small print taketh away.Evan Esar
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A contract is an agreement where the size of the print tends to contract the more you read.Evan Esar
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The fine print in a contract will give you a surprise if you read it, and an even greater surprise if you don't.Evan Esar
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The best way to keep healthy is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.Evan Esar
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Health is something that makes you feel it's a fine day when it isn't.Evan Esar
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Youth thinks nothing of health, and age thinks of nothing but.Evan Esar
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Your health depends more on the number of years that have passed over your head than on the number of colds that have passed through it.Evan Esar
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The picture of health requires a happy frame of mind.Evan Esar
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If it weren't for his delusions, many a man would go out of his mind.Evan Esar