Evan Esar Sayings and Quotes

Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old Evan Esar quotes, Evan Esar sayings, and Evan Esar proverbs, collected over the years from a variety of sources.'

In fishing for a man, a flirt seldom know where to draw the line. Evan Esar
A flirt spends her time making temporary male friends, but permanent female enemies. Evan Esar
Man is the only machine that needs to be lubricated with alcohol. Evan Esar
Alcohol is a good preservative for almost everything but secrets. Evan Esar
Man has been exhorted to love his enemies, but so far alcohol is the only enemy he has learned to love. Evan Esar
Alcohol is like success; both are all right until they go to your head. Evan Esar
What every drunk needs is to get more blood into his alcohol stream. Evan Esar
Brains are not a handicap to a girl because a smart girl knows enough to hide them behind a low neckline. Evan Esar
A tomboy is a girl who misbehaves like a boy. Evan Esar
Every man is a little boy at heart, and every girl is a woman. Evan Esar
Even when a girl is as pretty as a picture, a man still likes to look at the frame. Evan Esar
It's not easy for a beautiful girl to believe that love is blind. Evan Esar
There's only one way to improve your memory, and that's to lengthen it. Evan Esar
A fault-finder is a person with a bad memory who never remembers the good, or with a good memory who always remembers the bad. Evan Esar
A memory expert remembers everything, including many things he ought to forget. Evan Esar
Some people have wonderful memories: they can't remember what they worried about yesterday. Evan Esar
A good way to cure a bad memory is by lending small sums to your fiends. Evan Esar
Success is the good fortune that comes from aspiration, desperation, perspiration,and inspiration. Evan Esar
Cheat me once, you ought to be ashamed; cheat me twice, I ought to be ashamed. Evan Esar
Knowledge is what you get from reading the small print in a contract. Experience is what you get from not reading it. Evan Esar
By the time you learn that you should always read the fine print, your eyes can no longer see it. Evan Esar
Remember, in every lease the big print giveth and the small print taketh away. Evan Esar
A contract is an agreement where the size of the print tends to contract the more you read. Evan Esar
The fine print in a contract will give you a surprise if you read it, and an even greater surprise if you don't. Evan Esar
The best way to keep healthy is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not. Evan Esar
Health is something that makes you feel it's a fine day when it isn't. Evan Esar
Youth thinks nothing of health, and age thinks of nothing but. Evan Esar
Your health depends more on the number of years that have passed over your head than on the number of colds that have passed through it. Evan Esar
The picture of health requires a happy frame of mind. Evan Esar
If it weren't for his delusions, many a man would go out of his mind. Evan Esar